Fans of my writing often say, “Jarod, you write such romantic words! Why isn’t more of your poetry featured above truck stop urinals all along I-95?” The answer is I don’t know, but I’m humbled by the praise.

2021/11/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I have a pet bicycle, and when I take it for a walk people look at me like I’m crazy. What, have you never seen an “I Voted!” T-shirt before?

2021/07/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

A Pekin duckling has fur like rays of sunlight. It’s a yellow orb of a bird that’s bursting with warmth, and it transforms your fluttering heart into a butterfly.

2021/06/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I am The Helen Keller of Love. I can’t see or hear it coming, and I know whether love is blind or if it’s just deaf in the eyes, because I write romance poetry in Braille.

2021/06/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Did you know that duck-egg yolks are so golden because those swimming birds soak up sunlight and convert it directly into an omelet-ready substance? I also have powdered sunlight FOR SALE, but if you were to accidentally snort some, you’d burn your eyes out from the inside.

2021/05/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Let me know the next time you go on a tropical vacation, so I can knit you a bikini. If you book now, I’ll even throw in a sloshing coffee table that comes with FREE refills.

2021/03/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

The essence or romance is mystery, and you already know whodunnit. It was Marie’s! They provide the food, music, and ambience to make this Valentine’s Day one to last all year.

2021/02/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

The way water sits still in a glass and holds its shape, that’s how I dance. Luckily for you, I am now offering FREE refills.

2021/01/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I know I advertised nude content from Michael J. 666 to get you to sign up for my OnlyFans account, but would you be disappointed enough to ask for a refund if all my videos are of me reading Victorian Love Poetry while sitting by a fire with my cat on my lap?

2020/10/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

When you act NOW, you also receive a FREE copy of my newest book: “How to put out riot fires with your naked body.” The book itself is burnable, and should altogether be banned by The Government.

2020/06/122020/06/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: poetry

Fans of my writing often say, “Jarod, you write such romantic words! Why isn’t more of your poetry featured above truck stop urinals all along I-95?” The answer is I don’t know, but I’m humbled by the praise.

Like this:

I have a pet bicycle, and when I take it for a walk people look at me like I’m crazy. What, have you never seen an “I Voted!” T-shirt before?

Like this:

A Pekin duckling has fur like rays of sunlight. It’s a yellow orb of a bird that’s bursting with warmth, and it transforms your fluttering heart into a butterfly.

Like this:

I am The Helen Keller of Love. I can’t see or hear it coming, and I know whether love is blind or if it’s just deaf in the eyes, because I write romance poetry in Braille.

Like this:

Did you know that duck-egg yolks are so golden because those swimming birds soak up sunlight and convert it directly into an omelet-ready substance? I also have powdered sunlight FOR SALE, but if you were to accidentally snort some, you’d burn your eyes out from the inside.

Like this:

Let me know the next time you go on a tropical vacation, so I can knit you a bikini. If you book now, I’ll even throw in a sloshing coffee table that comes with FREE refills.

Like this:

The essence or romance is mystery, and you already know whodunnit. It was Marie’s! They provide the food, music, and ambience to make this Valentine’s Day one to last all year.

Like this:

The way water sits still in a glass and holds its shape, that’s how I dance. Luckily for you, I am now offering FREE refills.

Like this:

I know I advertised nude content from Michael J. 666 to get you to sign up for my OnlyFans account, but would you be disappointed enough to ask for a refund if all my videos are of me reading Victorian Love Poetry while sitting by a fire with my cat on my lap?

Like this:

When you act NOW, you also receive a FREE copy of my newest book: “How to put out riot fires with your naked body.” The book itself is burnable, and should altogether be banned by The Government.

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