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Love now, not later. Also, love later.

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Tag: poetry

I know I advertised nude content from Michael J. 666 to get you to sign up for my OnlyFans account, but would you be disappointed enough to ask for a refund if all my videos are of me reading Victorian Love Poetry while sitting by a fire with my cat on my lap?

2020/10/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When you act NOW, you also receive a FREE copy of my newest book: “How to put out riot fires with your naked body.” The book itself is burnable, and should altogether be banned by The Government.

2020/06/122020/06/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I often just stop by Nature’s Wonders to buy an orange soda. Of course, they also sell other tasty flavors, like brown, light brown, and red brown.

2020/06/122020/06/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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No matter what time it is, it’s always now. That makes it the perfect time to love. But what is the perfect place to love? That’s easy—BearPaw Duck Farm.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Now that nobody has any money or job, maybe people would pay me to print them income. Buy a $100 dollar bill for ONLY $19.95—or Five For Fifty dollars. (Fake, fake, fake money not an acceptable form of payment for fake, fake money.)

2020/04/212020/04/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I should combine a car bumper with a belt, for a fashion accessory that’s safe for office romances. (Powdered love poetry and water sold separately.)

2020/02/282020/02/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If April in The Ozarks smells like 100% Pure Romance, it’s because we use the freshest organic love poetry. The earnest words of yearning are all locally grown right here in my heart.

2020/02/282020/02/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Let an array of colors scent your essence, and may you flourish like flowers. When the winds of adversity batter you, may your reaction bring freshness to the breeze.

2020/02/152020/02/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A firefly is flying fire, but is a butterfly flying butter? It should be called a flutterfly.

2020/02/152020/02/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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There is music in fragrance, and if you listen closely, it smells like nostalgia. Let it resonate deep within your soul.

2020/02/152020/02/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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  • Here at BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm, I’ve sold more T-shirts than I have eggs. That’s because I’ve sold ONE T-shirt. I know, because I bought it myself. I guess I am a pretty savvy businessman.
  • The key to dancing is to do it without music. Whoever first paired dancing and music together was an absolute lunatic, and would have been more useful to society if squeezed out of a tube of toothpaste. Nine out of ten dentists agree with me.
  • It’s like my good friend Elon Musk said, “If you don’t shop at BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm, you’ll wish you were born as a hologram, because I’m going to Mars to be with other beings of light, so go buy a Tesla and starve.”
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