I have a pet bicycle, and when I take it for a walk people look at me like I’m crazy. What, have you never seen an “I Voted!” T-shirt before?
Tag: poetic
A Pekin duckling has fur like rays of sunlight. It’s a yellow orb of a bird that’s bursting with warmth, and it transforms your fluttering heart into a butterfly.
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Did you know that duck-egg yolks are so golden because those swimming birds soak up sunlight and convert it directly into an omelet-ready substance? I also have powdered sunlight FOR SALE, but if you were to accidentally snort some, you’d burn your eyes out from the inside.
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Let me know the next time you go on a tropical vacation, so I can knit you a bikini. If you book now, I’ll even throw in a sloshing coffee table that comes with FREE refills.
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The essence or romance is mystery, and you already know whodunnit. It was Marie’s! They provide the food, music, and ambience to make this Valentine’s Day one to last all year.
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When you act NOW, you also receive a FREE copy of my newest book: “How to put out riot fires with your naked body.” The book itself is burnable, and should altogether be banned by The Government.
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No matter what time it is, it’s always now. That makes it the perfect time to love. But what is the perfect place to love? That’s easy—BearPaw Duck Farm.
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The best wave machine is a hurricane, and one time in high school I skipped classes to go surfing in one. As I was tumbling on the ocean floor while my lungs were screeching like a scratchy Beastie Boys song, I thought, “Hey, maybe math class wouldn’t be so bad right now.”
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The waves danced across Lake Taneycomo like liquid ballerinas, and they paused their performance to pass me a soggy scroll that had this scrawled, “Tourists will trade their livelihoods to be entertained.” So I turned off the blaring pirouette music and let them rest their feet.
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Don’t go looking for love; let love find you. But don’t go wearing camouflage and try to hide and then complain about how lonely you are.
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