I’ve been playing the piano since I was six years old. When I finish practicing tonight, in nine minutes, I will have put in a collective three hours mastering this instrument. If you’ve got a bowl full of Asian noodles, I’ve got the Chopsticks.

2021/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I dance like both my shoes are nailed to the wall. It goes way beyond mere performance and into the realm of art. I am the Rodin of the music world.

2020/10/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I may dance like two-thirds of the bottom half of a piano, but that doesn’t mean you can buy my Romantic Moves. However, they are FOR RENT at Truck Stop Diner Prices.

2020/03/292020/03/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Cats make cuddly pets, but you can’t take them for walks. That’s why I love my pet waterfall, which also makes the splashiest snuggles. However, cats are the superior jazz musicians.

2020/01/242020/01/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I remember this one time I remembered this one time. That was a good time. Also, that was a good time.

2019/11/122019/11/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If I close my eyes I can still hear the piano music, and if I stop my fingers from dancing, then the sound dissipates and disappears. This elevator just won’t be the same without her.

2019/11/062019/11/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A Woman Of The Future might try to insult me and say I make love like a robot, all mechanical and without feeling, but I’ll take offense to that, because my prices will be much more affordable.

2019/09/092019/09/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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This #ad is #sponsored by The Piano Movers Association of America, and NOT by Absolut Vodka, because they won’t return my calls or respond to my demands to be paid for services rendered.

2019/05/102019/05/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My fried chicken is made from locally sourced materials, including, but not limited to: Formaldehyde, pink sludge, and perfume (to preserve that back-of-the-fridge stink, for the nostalgia factor).

2019/04/112019/04/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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To hide inflation from my Dancing Lessons customers, I’ve decided to keep the price at $19.95, but dramatically and drastically reduce quantity and quality. Thanks for shopping.

2019/04/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: piano

I’ve been playing the piano since I was six years old. When I finish practicing tonight, in nine minutes, I will have put in a collective three hours mastering this instrument. If you’ve got a bowl full of Asian noodles, I’ve got the Chopsticks.

Like this:

I dance like both my shoes are nailed to the wall. It goes way beyond mere performance and into the realm of art. I am the Rodin of the music world.

Like this:

I may dance like two-thirds of the bottom half of a piano, but that doesn’t mean you can buy my Romantic Moves. However, they are FOR RENT at Truck Stop Diner Prices.

Like this:

Cats make cuddly pets, but you can’t take them for walks. That’s why I love my pet waterfall, which also makes the splashiest snuggles. However, cats are the superior jazz musicians.

Like this:

I remember this one time I remembered this one time. That was a good time. Also, that was a good time.

Like this:

If I close my eyes I can still hear the piano music, and if I stop my fingers from dancing, then the sound dissipates and disappears. This elevator just won’t be the same without her.

Like this:

A Woman Of The Future might try to insult me and say I make love like a robot, all mechanical and without feeling, but I’ll take offense to that, because my prices will be much more affordable.

Like this:

This #ad is #sponsored by The Piano Movers Association of America, and NOT by Absolut Vodka, because they won’t return my calls or respond to my demands to be paid for services rendered.

Like this:

My fried chicken is made from locally sourced materials, including, but not limited to: Formaldehyde, pink sludge, and perfume (to preserve that back-of-the-fridge stink, for the nostalgia factor).

Like this:

To hide inflation from my Dancing Lessons customers, I’ve decided to keep the price at $19.95, but dramatically and drastically reduce quantity and quality. Thanks for shopping.

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