As a farmer of waterfalls here in Harrison, Arkansas, I get to raise air-flowing bodies of aqua. Though this one is just a baby, with the right diet, it may grow up to be the next Niagara.

2021/03/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Covering motion stairs with fur does not make a Pet Escalator. Ask me how to convert your retirement nest egg into one giant omelet.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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As I was petting my cat this morning, it hit me that maybe my cat was stillfully rubbing my hand. In this upside-down world of negative interest rates, can you really be sure of anything except the value of duck eggs?

2020/05/032020/05/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The perfect pet is half cat, half waterfall, because you could splash in snuggles, but also take it for a walk down a mountain. But why go through all that work, when you could just take The Ozarks Service Escalator?

2020/05/032020/05/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Cats make cuddly pets, but you can’t take them for walks. That’s why I love my pet waterfall, which also makes the splashiest snuggles. However, cats are the superior jazz musicians.

2020/01/242020/01/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I take jokes very seriously. So seriously, in fact, that I never take jokes.

2019/11/042019/11/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Many elderly waterfalls move to Branson to retire, and if you decide to adopt a Snuggly Splash Factory, you need to buy adequate aqua equipment to properly care for these gurgling geriatrics.

2019/03/272019/03/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Is your favorite Chinese restaurant serving your favorite pet under the guise of chicken? Find out which restaurants in your area are secretly offering Toyota parts on their menu, tonight at 6:00.

2019/03/102019/03/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

If you happen to have a pet that’s so exotic it’s extinct, I do have specialty leashes, and I offer walking services at affordable prices. I’ll even walk your pet peeve, though there’s an extra cost due to the intrinsically irritating nature of the experience.

2019/01/302019/01/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Yesterday I took my pet 88 for a walk for what seemed like forever, but it wasn’t. No, it took double forever, which is like a really long time plus another really.

2019/01/222019/01/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: pet

As a farmer of waterfalls here in Harrison, Arkansas, I get to raise air-flowing bodies of aqua. Though this one is just a baby, with the right diet, it may grow up to be the next Niagara.

Like this:

Covering motion stairs with fur does not make a Pet Escalator. Ask me how to convert your retirement nest egg into one giant omelet.

Like this:

As I was petting my cat this morning, it hit me that maybe my cat was stillfully rubbing my hand. In this upside-down world of negative interest rates, can you really be sure of anything except the value of duck eggs?

Like this:

The perfect pet is half cat, half waterfall, because you could splash in snuggles, but also take it for a walk down a mountain. But why go through all that work, when you could just take The Ozarks Service Escalator?

Like this:

Cats make cuddly pets, but you can’t take them for walks. That’s why I love my pet waterfall, which also makes the splashiest snuggles. However, cats are the superior jazz musicians.

Like this:

I take jokes very seriously. So seriously, in fact, that I never take jokes.

Like this:

Many elderly waterfalls move to Branson to retire, and if you decide to adopt a Snuggly Splash Factory, you need to buy adequate aqua equipment to properly care for these gurgling geriatrics.

Like this:

Is your favorite Chinese restaurant serving your favorite pet under the guise of chicken? Find out which restaurants in your area are secretly offering Toyota parts on their menu, tonight at 6:00.

Like this:

If you happen to have a pet that’s so exotic it’s extinct, I do have specialty leashes, and I offer walking services at affordable prices. I’ll even walk your pet peeve, though there’s an extra cost due to the intrinsically irritating nature of the experience.

Like this:

Yesterday I took my pet 88 for a walk for what seemed like forever, but it wasn’t. No, it took double forever, which is like a really long time plus another really.

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