In honor of The World’s Largest Occult Ceremony, I’m offering an Olympics Special. Not only will you go way over budget, as I’ll be overcharging you, but since it’s not your money and nobody will be watching, nobody will care.
Branson business owners complain that it’s hard to find good help among the locals. I guess it would be hard to find quality American labor when you’re paying Chinese slave factory wages.
I have never made a cashier cry, but I have gotten into a shouting match with one, because he counted up 11 items to ring up, and he was in the 10 items or less line, but one product I was buying was Buy One, Get One FREE, so I argued Item 11 should be thought of as invisible.
I don’t know why they call the dollar funny money, because there’s nothing even remotely humorous about destroying a country’s standard of living and bringing everyone but The Banksters into generational poverty.
From time to time I think about quitting my job. The first time I think about quitting is the moment I clock in to work, and the second time I think about quitting is one second later.
The best part about FREE is you don’t have to pay for it. Unfortunately, I’m still going to have to charge you money.
Water in a picture is a good visual of how my love flows for you, because it does and it doesn’t flow—both at the same time. I guess it all depends on how you look at it—and if you’re a paid-up subscriber.
Forget murderers, rapists, and traitors. I’m glad Donald Trump’s Department of Justice is going after the truly evil people, like mothers who want their kids to get into good universities and are willing to pay for it.
Don’t forget to try my cabbage soup. It’s fresh NOW. Well, assuming you’re reading this on March 5th, 2012, which is coming up on seven years ago. With my Teleportation Box, you can buy from me no matter where you are in the world and still loyally shop local.