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Tag: pancakes

When you act NOW, you also receive a FREE copy of my newest book: “How to put out riot fires with your naked body.” The book itself is burnable, and should altogether be banned by The Government.

2020/06/122020/06/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I have a doppelgänger who fought in The American Civil War in the 1860s, so people always assume I’m 200 years old. They ask me, “What’s the secret to long life?” Simple: Accept FREE food, but try not to get turned into Duck Soup once you’ve been fattened up.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I only call my new cologne The Scent of Silent Slaughter, and it only smells like bug killer, but it is in fact no more deadly than voting. (Try it on pancakes!)

2019/12/282019/12/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Guinness should give itself a world record for being the biggest Clown Show in this circus called Life.

2019/09/272019/09/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I only call my new cologne Insecticide, and it only smells like bug killer, but it is in fact no more deadly than voting. (Try it on pancakes!)

2019/09/132019/09/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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  • They call it the Theater of War because it’s a play. The Zionists are playing you for fools, and they applaud when you kill their enemies—and they applaud when you die fighting for them. The next war will be their biggest ever blood-sacrifice ritual to Moloch.
  • Everybody knows I’m an adrenaline junky. That’s why nobody lets me watch mainstream news, because they know how it gets my heart rate amped. Fake narratives have a way of doing that to me.
  • It’s not that I don’t like buying things, it’s that I don’t like paying. But if you’re going to waste your money, you may as well spend it on me.
  • Dunkin’ Donuts considers its rival to be Starbucks. That means when Dunkin’ comes to town, not only are local donut shops threatened, but so are our local coffee shops. Way to go, Chamber of Commerce! You have helped to siphon money away from TWO categories of local businesses!
  • Skate Mania is now known as a skating rink, but I call it what it one day could be: A GIF Factory. The Three Stooges made a career out of falling down, and little kids and addled adults pay money to provide Skate Mania with that kind of hilarious content.
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