Don’t just VOTE. Run to your nearest Voting Factory like you’re on a treadmill. I’ll be sitting in a chair with wheels, because my Jaguar is in the shop again—and it’s ON SALE.

2020/10/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Time is money, and it’s now ON SALE. 60 seconds for 100 pennies. NO Senior Discounts!

2020/05/232020/05/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Have you ever wanted to be a high-performance athlete like you see in this GIF? Well, my coaching services just happen to be ON SALE at 1995 prices—which works out to ONLY $19.95 per hour.

2020/05/032020/05/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Is it better to have ten people buy once, or one people buy ten times? Next time, try BOTH!

2019/03/032019/03/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Cheddar plus toast is grilled cheese, and money plus burnt bread is now ON SALE! Also, sometimes I get the words penis and obelisk mixed up.

2019/03/022019/03/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Have you ever drank Liquid Cuddles? If you think it’s absurd, wait until I tell you about the SALE! 49 bottles of Liquid Cuddles for the price of ONE! Yes, that’s 50 bottles for ONLY $19.95!

2019/02/252019/02/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When buying something that’s ON SALE, always remember what my grandpappy used to say, “It doesn’t matter how cheap a thing is, if you don’t need it, make like Leftover Meatloaf in tinfoil and go to the moon!”

2019/02/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My coffee is now ON SALE at 5 for $10 plus $89.75, for a total of $19.95 EACH. Incredible! Not only is it expensive, but it’s awful, like Starbucks.

2019/02/082019/02/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The best part about offering an inferior product FOR SALE, is the satisfaction I get from knowing I’m saving people money. That’s the kind of thing that builds lasting business relationships.

2019/01/092019/01/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Just because my absurdity comes in a box shaped like a coffin that’s not actually a coffin doesn’t mean I don’t also sell coffins. Right now my coffins are on sale at Buy One Get One Half Off prices. I also sell them in family packs.

2017/12/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: on sale

Don’t just VOTE. Run to your nearest Voting Factory like you’re on a treadmill. I’ll be sitting in a chair with wheels, because my Jaguar is in the shop again—and it’s ON SALE.

Like this:

Time is money, and it’s now ON SALE. 60 seconds for 100 pennies. NO Senior Discounts!

Like this:

Have you ever wanted to be a high-performance athlete like you see in this GIF? Well, my coaching services just happen to be ON SALE at 1995 prices—which works out to ONLY $19.95 per hour.

Like this:

Is it better to have ten people buy once, or one people buy ten times? Next time, try BOTH!

Like this:

Cheddar plus toast is grilled cheese, and money plus burnt bread is now ON SALE! Also, sometimes I get the words penis and obelisk mixed up.

Like this:

Have you ever drank Liquid Cuddles? If you think it’s absurd, wait until I tell you about the SALE! 49 bottles of Liquid Cuddles for the price of ONE! Yes, that’s 50 bottles for ONLY $19.95!

Like this:

When buying something that’s ON SALE, always remember what my grandpappy used to say, “It doesn’t matter how cheap a thing is, if you don’t need it, make like Leftover Meatloaf in tinfoil and go to the moon!”

Like this:

My coffee is now ON SALE at 5 for $10 plus $89.75, for a total of $19.95 EACH. Incredible! Not only is it expensive, but it’s awful, like Starbucks.

Like this:

The best part about offering an inferior product FOR SALE, is the satisfaction I get from knowing I’m saving people money. That’s the kind of thing that builds lasting business relationships.

Like this:

Just because my absurdity comes in a box shaped like a coffin that’s not actually a coffin doesn’t mean I don’t also sell coffins. Right now my coffins are on sale at Buy One Get One Half Off prices. I also sell them in family packs.

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