FREE networking tip #13: Instead of offering your hand when meeting someone, extend a rubber duck that squeaks. It’s just a small gesture that says, “I’m here, you’re here, and I really care.”

2020/05/232020/05/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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As an amateur Air Machine Architect, I design contraptions meant to take man from Point A to Point Z without touching points B through Y. My first Air Machine was modeled off the aerodynamic bodies of ducks, which is why it required water to operate and left poop everywhere.

2020/05/232020/05/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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In honor of Tom Cruise and the clone of Tom Cruise, Dancing Lessons are NOW Two For One. My prices are so LOW you just might feel obligated to buy some Duck Soup, which comes with FREE refills.

2020/05/232020/05/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tonight’s meme is inspired by the letter in-between the 16th and the 18th letters. That single letter is going to save America from America. It’s the first letter in Question, which is something you shouldn’t do to The Plan. Just trust it, man.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Call TODAY to inquire about TOMORROW. The Future is NOW, and it’s ONLY $19.95 per serving!

2020/05/092020/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My new coffee is now 1980s flavored. It was inspired by Branson, Missouri’s love obsession with the year 1991, combined with the letter Q. You can’t say you get no respect, because you get FREE refills right up to 1990.

2020/05/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m now selling Duck-Soup Popsicles in vintage meatloaf colors. The flavor of 1991 has never looked so good while camping. Just ask Bigfoot.

2020/05/012020/05/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Ducks now come with voice activation. Batteries and muffled fog-filled muffins sold separately. The ducks are waterproof, but the muffins do NOT double as dish sponges when soggy.

2020/05/012020/05/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Taste the interdimensional. Just add water—from the second heaven.

2020/04/212020/04/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I saw a rooster on a leash, so I asked the guy walking it if he was offering Meals On A Leash. He denied being an industry disruptor, an innovator, so I snatched the approach to FRESH delivery food and transformed it into a new #startup.

2020/03/262020/03/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: nonsense

FREE networking tip #13: Instead of offering your hand when meeting someone, extend a rubber duck that squeaks. It’s just a small gesture that says, “I’m here, you’re here, and I really care.”

Like this:

As an amateur Air Machine Architect, I design contraptions meant to take man from Point A to Point Z without touching points B through Y. My first Air Machine was modeled off the aerodynamic bodies of ducks, which is why it required water to operate and left poop everywhere.

Like this:

In honor of Tom Cruise and the clone of Tom Cruise, Dancing Lessons are NOW Two For One. My prices are so LOW you just might feel obligated to buy some Duck Soup, which comes with FREE refills.

Like this:

Tonight’s meme is inspired by the letter in-between the 16th and the 18th letters. That single letter is going to save America from America. It’s the first letter in Question, which is something you shouldn’t do to The Plan. Just trust it, man.

Like this:

Call TODAY to inquire about TOMORROW. The Future is NOW, and it’s ONLY $19.95 per serving!

Like this:

My new coffee is now 1980s flavored. It was inspired by Branson, Missouri’s love obsession with the year 1991, combined with the letter Q. You can’t say you get no respect, because you get FREE refills right up to 1990.

Like this:

I’m now selling Duck-Soup Popsicles in vintage meatloaf colors. The flavor of 1991 has never looked so good while camping. Just ask Bigfoot.

Like this:

Ducks now come with voice activation. Batteries and muffled fog-filled muffins sold separately. The ducks are waterproof, but the muffins do NOT double as dish sponges when soggy.

Like this:

Taste the interdimensional. Just add water—from the second heaven.

Like this:

I saw a rooster on a leash, so I asked the guy walking it if he was offering Meals On A Leash. He denied being an industry disruptor, an innovator, so I snatched the approach to FRESH delivery food and transformed it into a new #startup.

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