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Love now, not later. Also, love later.

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Tag: niche meme

My ducks are ON SALE at Buy Four, Get TWO prices. (Limit three per purchase.)

2020/12/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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You don’t have to be a gumshoe, or have gum on your shoe, to appreciate my Israel did 9/11-flavored gum, but once you experience this INCREDIBLE taste, you’ll want to start investigating The Truth.

2019/07/302019/07/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you buy enough fries from me, you can become your own bicycle ramp, and then you can actively become part of another person’s dream. Ask me about Bulk Discounts.

2019/01/082019/01/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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After you buy my Dancing Lessons In A Box, and before you leave a one-star product review on Amazon, you should remember that the box only appears to be empty, but it is in fact full of my love for you.

2019/01/072019/01/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My Dancing Lessons In A Box are completely SOLD OUT. I’m waiting for more cardboard to come in, so you should Pre-Order yours today.

2019/01/062019/01/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m all about saving you money. But I can’t save you money until you spend money, so find out now by buying. What are you waiting for? You can’t shop when you’re dead, even if you can vote for Hillary Clinton.

2019/01/062019/01/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m no Nostradamus, but my prediction for the year 2019 is that it will have 365 days in it. Hopefully every one of them will be a blessing for you, except that cursed Day Number 333.

2019/01/012019/01/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I used to want to be an astronaut, but I gave up hanging around in a pool when I quit competitive swimming. These NASA scuba divers have never trained in the water like I have, and with or without a suit, I’d still beat them in a race.

2018/11/192018/11/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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In a physical war, every soldier knows when he is under attack, but this Spiritual War is much more devastating, destructive, and decimating, because few Christians even realize they are marked and targeted for abuse.

2018/11/192018/11/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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What I have to sell you is FREE, and it will only cost you time, because what I deal in is the absurd, and I have enough of it to fill up your whole lifetime.

2018/11/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Recent Posts

  • The way water sits still in a glass and holds its shape, that’s how I dance. Luckily for you, I am now offering FREE refills.
  • Dance critics all over the world have called my body moves, “Sculpturesque,” “As full of motion as a Rodin statue,” and “Like watching Helen Keller eat Jell-O with her elbows.” My dancing is so still and silent that it belongs on a shelf in a library, next to other great literature.
  • No matter where you drive in this country, you end up in Clown World. That’s why I make my car go honk, honk.
  • Bill Gates is now the largest farmland owner in America. Why? Does the same “man” who wants to kill you also want to sell you healthy food?
  • Here at BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm, I’ve sold more T-shirts than I have eggs. That’s because I’ve sold ONE T-shirt. I know, because I bought it myself. I guess I am a pretty savvy businessman.
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