Have you ever told a joke with a punch line so naughty you have to whisper it? I did that today, only I shouted the ending, because with Forced Social Distancing, by the time my voice traveled and endured over the air to the receiving ear, it may have been nearly inaudible.

2020/04/022020/04/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

No sunken treasure to be found here.

2020/03/032020/03/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A bar of soap on a stick is a lollipop of sorts—if your kid has a filthy mouth. If your son ever says something like, “Taxes are the price we pay to live in a civilized society,” you should wash his mouth out immediately.

2020/01/242020/01/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I once had a dream about what Branson, Missouri dreams about, and I don’t know which was freakier, the town itself or the year 1991.

2019/12/132019/12/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I make love like I make coffee. That’s why if you buy right now, you get FREE refills for life. (Limited to one customer only. Promotion not valid in the following states: Alaska and Hawaii.)

2019/10/312019/10/31 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Have you considered using Leftover Meatloaf as a sponge to scrub your naked body in the shower? It’s all I seem to think about these days.

2019/08/302019/08/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Before a fire enters a house, it never asks itself, “Is the front door locked? Should I first knock?” And because it’s so rude, that’s why I never invite it to barbeques.

2019/08/062019/08/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I once planted a garden of love in my heart, of which the flowers looked like roses mixed with butterflies, and I’m sad my feelings for you evaporated, because I could easily sell bouquets of our romance for $19.95.

2019/07/212019/07/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I also have a Kyle-shaped mannequin for sale, but I named it Squiblob, after its mother. We fell in love before I realized she was just using me for sex.

2019/04/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My skills and resources are scarce, so be sure to book my services before all the pages are filled up and it’s FOR SALE in paperback format on Amazon for $19.95.

2019/03/202019/03/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: naughty

No sunken treasure to be found here.

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A bar of soap on a stick is a lollipop of sorts—if your kid has a filthy mouth. If your son ever says something like, “Taxes are the price we pay to live in a civilized society,” you should wash his mouth out immediately.

Like this:

I once had a dream about what Branson, Missouri dreams about, and I don’t know which was freakier, the town itself or the year 1991.

Like this:

I make love like I make coffee. That’s why if you buy right now, you get FREE refills for life. (Limited to one customer only. Promotion not valid in the following states: Alaska and Hawaii.)

Like this:

Have you considered using Leftover Meatloaf as a sponge to scrub your naked body in the shower? It’s all I seem to think about these days.

Like this:

Before a fire enters a house, it never asks itself, “Is the front door locked? Should I first knock?” And because it’s so rude, that’s why I never invite it to barbeques.

Like this:

I once planted a garden of love in my heart, of which the flowers looked like roses mixed with butterflies, and I’m sad my feelings for you evaporated, because I could easily sell bouquets of our romance for $19.95.

Like this:

I also have a Kyle-shaped mannequin for sale, but I named it Squiblob, after its mother. We fell in love before I realized she was just using me for sex.

Like this:

My skills and resources are scarce, so be sure to book my services before all the pages are filled up and it’s FOR SALE in paperback format on Amazon for $19.95.

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