This song will be playing at all the hottest clubs from South Beach to Ibiza, and it will come to define Summer 2022. Babies will be made to this song. 2022/04/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading...
Why aren’t my shows SOLD OUT? What octogenarian wouldn’t want to hear the songs of his youth? 2021/12/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading...
“It’s not a proper duck farm if customers can’t ride a roaring bear—a bear that also happens to play the trumpet.” That’s a quote uttered and muttered by my grandpa, and he was mute, so you know it must be true. 2021/10/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading...
I just invented a way to put the smooth sounds of a saxophone directly into a trumpet—with little or minimal rusting. When you listen to my music, just close your eyes, because your mind is about to take a romantic trip—inside of a mental elevator. 2021/09/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading...
It’s too bad GIFs are silent, because I recorded some original saxophone music to accompany this masterpiece. It sounds like ducks quacking on the moon, and if you’ve got an empty elevator that needs space to be filled, it’s now FOR SALE. 2021/09/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading...
The funeral business is the only one with no repeat customers. Though you only die once, why not buy your own funeral from me twice? My Buy One Funeral, Get One FREE deal only applies the second time you purchase a custom Death Party. 2021/07/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading...
As far as culinary artists go, I’m less Julia Child and more Julia Teenager. My cooking has the kind of maturity that screams, “You’re not my REAL father, and you can’t tell me what to do!” 2021/06/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading...
Did you even know the saxophone could make farm noises? You know I’m a genius jazz performer because it sounds like I haven’t played an instrument ever before. 2021/06/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading...
When the music slaps, I dance like Jell-O. But not the green kind. No, I move like the sexy red. If you’ve never been sexually attracted to gelatin, wait until you see me jiggle. 2021/06/082021/06/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading...
My pool may be empty, but I’m not going to cry about it, unless I use my tears to fill it up. If you’re not too busy, maybe you could help me. If you just think about all your failures, this thing should be overflowing in no time. 2021/06/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading...