I’m such a good dancer that I make marble statues look fluid. The only thing I do with more enthusiasm is VOTE.

2020/09/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

My only note for Branson’s Anthems of Rock is what I tell potential buyers at my Tupperware Parties: You can never have too much Meatloaf. It makes such perfect Leftovers that a whole show could be done from the classic love ballad that’s beloved by fans of all hearing ranges.

2020/09/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Nothing like a little controversy and conspiracy to drum up interest in a business. Speaking of drums, I’m starting a band, and Branson, Missouri—The Musician will be playing keytar.

2020/08/262020/08/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Music comes in through your ears, invisibly. But it’s tough to sell the invisible, so I devised a way to alchemize music from the purely audible into something you can taste. And for ONLY $19.95 I’m selling the whole dining experience. Visit my kiosk at The Branson Landing.

2020/08/262020/08/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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At The Branson Craft Mall, the cover band was instrumental in getting me to hum along during dinner. The lead singer reminded me of myself—if I were a woman, attractive, and were actually musical.

2020/08/232020/08/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I make serious memes for serious people. I also make other things, including money, and everything is FOR SALE. Everything MUST GO.

2020/08/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Duck eggs—the energy drink in a shell. Now available in an assortment of flavors that can be easily digitized and uploaded to The Cloud, to be later enjoyed through your eyes and ears.

2020/05/092020/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Of course, I’m open to seasoning my Duck Soup with other sounds, like Track # 3 from U2’s classic 1987 hit album “The Joshua Tree.” Though I might have to charge an additional $19.95 for such an exotic flavor.

2020/05/012020/05/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The best wave machine is a hurricane, and one time in high school I skipped classes to go surfing in one. As I was tumbling on the ocean floor while my lungs were screeching like a scratchy Beastie Boys song, I thought, “Hey, maybe math class wouldn’t be so bad right now.”

2020/02/152020/02/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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There is music in fragrance, and if you listen closely, it smells like nostalgia. Let it resonate deep within your soul.

2020/02/152020/02/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: music

I’m such a good dancer that I make marble statues look fluid. The only thing I do with more enthusiasm is VOTE.

Like this:

My only note for Branson’s Anthems of Rock is what I tell potential buyers at my Tupperware Parties: You can never have too much Meatloaf. It makes such perfect Leftovers that a whole show could be done from the classic love ballad that’s beloved by fans of all hearing ranges.

Like this:

Nothing like a little controversy and conspiracy to drum up interest in a business. Speaking of drums, I’m starting a band, and Branson, Missouri—The Musician will be playing keytar.

Like this:

Music comes in through your ears, invisibly. But it’s tough to sell the invisible, so I devised a way to alchemize music from the purely audible into something you can taste. And for ONLY $19.95 I’m selling the whole dining experience. Visit my kiosk at The Branson Landing.

Like this:

At The Branson Craft Mall, the cover band was instrumental in getting me to hum along during dinner. The lead singer reminded me of myself—if I were a woman, attractive, and were actually musical.

Like this:

I make serious memes for serious people. I also make other things, including money, and everything is FOR SALE. Everything MUST GO.

Like this:

Duck eggs—the energy drink in a shell. Now available in an assortment of flavors that can be easily digitized and uploaded to The Cloud, to be later enjoyed through your eyes and ears.

Like this:

Of course, I’m open to seasoning my Duck Soup with other sounds, like Track # 3 from U2’s classic 1987 hit album “The Joshua Tree.” Though I might have to charge an additional $19.95 for such an exotic flavor.

Like this:

The best wave machine is a hurricane, and one time in high school I skipped classes to go surfing in one. As I was tumbling on the ocean floor while my lungs were screeching like a scratchy Beastie Boys song, I thought, “Hey, maybe math class wouldn’t be so bad right now.”

Like this:

There is music in fragrance, and if you listen closely, it smells like nostalgia. Let it resonate deep within your soul.

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