Tag: music
Perhaps a coffin maker is the one salesman who can’t entice customers with Buy One Get One FREE. Especially if that customer is single, because he’s divorced and broke, from paying a fancy wedding DJ.
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This is 100% true, in a CNN sense of the word.
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I know you’re probably thinking, “You may have just solved the greatest problem facing humanity with your Whistling As A Service idea, but how will you scale up as a business?” That’s easy! I’ll be cloning myself into Unicorn Status and my other selves will be working for FREE.
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This is my first concert on grass. The only other time it happened was when I stood in a pasture clapping for Celine Dion for 45 minutes, before a farmer informed me that I was spooking his horse.
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If you want to watch me perform, I’ll be at The Blue Green Turquoise Lounge. Ask for Denise. You’ll know she’s Denise because her nametag will say “Susan,” and she’ll be wearing a yellow leather sofa and a coffee table with FREE refills.
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The reason I write music with one note occurring every 24 hours is that slow dancing is a lost art, and I’m trying to bring it back at an almost inaudible pace. Concert tickets $19.95 each, or two for $39.90.
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Is there anything more musical than flowing water that’s larger than a creek, but smaller than a river? Now streaming for ONLY $19.95!
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To hide inflation from my Dancing Lessons customers, I’ve decided to keep the price at $19.95, but dramatically and drastically reduce quantity and quality. Thanks for shopping.
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I dance like I play the piano, and by that I mean when you watch my feet move you’d think I have 88 fingers. If you want to be a better lover, there’s a book for that, and I wrote it. You can read it, for ONLY $19.95.
