Tag: music
Is there anything more musical than flowing water that’s larger than a creek, but smaller than a river? Now streaming for ONLY $19.95!
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To hide inflation from my Dancing Lessons customers, I’ve decided to keep the price at $19.95, but dramatically and drastically reduce quantity and quality. Thanks for shopping.
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I dance like I play the piano, and by that I mean when you watch my feet move you’d think I have 88 fingers. If you want to be a better lover, there’s a book for that, and I wrote it. You can read it, for ONLY $19.95.
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Next time you have a funeral, you should hire a better DJ. Also, the cheese dip tasted a little funky, like a 1970s disco hit, and I like my queso smoother, like love songs from the 80s.
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Liquid xylophone music with a hint of saxophone is too exotic and sexy to taste test right now. I’ll have to wait until the world is ready for that level of experiential retail, but once it goes live, after the samples get canned, I predict a baby boom.
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Futurists often ask me what’s the secret to sales, and I tell them: “Offer things people don’t want at prices they can’t afford,” and then I tell them I have to go, because I’m late for a meeting in 25 years that starts in five minutes, and they knowingly nod.
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The best way to wake up a small town to the idea of shopping local is with a coffee house. This coffee house is so cozy it’s more of a coffee home.
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My meatloaf is cow sushi, in that it’s absolutely raw. It tastes terrible, but it’s made with 100% Pure Love, and that’s why I hope you’ll take home all the leftovers before they get too stinky.
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When I get married, I think I am going to invite the trees of The Ozarks to my wedding, because it will be wonderful on my Day of Love to be surrounded by so many of my dancing students.
