It’s too bad GIFs are silent, because I recorded some original saxophone music to accompany this masterpiece. It sounds like ducks quacking on the moon, and if you’ve got an empty elevator that needs space to be filled, it’s now FOR SALE.

2021/09/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Life is made of time, people, and places. Why not spend your time with the best people in the best places?

2020/10/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Not only is the video game sample FREE, but so is the whole game—when you purchase a slice of Leftover Meatloaf. It’s FREE because it sucks, but consumers rank my Leftover Meatloaf as the #1 bath sponge, which is why it’s priced at $19.95.

2019/10/242019/10/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My favorite bird is Thanksgiving, and I eat it once a year twice, to celebrate being able to celebrate. I take absurdity very seriously, and I suggest you $19.95 while you can still afford it or before it melts into Leftover Meatloaf.

2019/10/162019/10/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A woman just asked me if I’m good in bed, and I replied, “No, I’m a terrible sleeper. In fact, I’m so inefficient that it takes me twelve hours to do what the average person can do in eight.”

2019/10/082019/10/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Even if you had acne scar pits like the lunar surface, NASA couldn’t land on your face. But I’d still like to see Ryan Gosling try, so you should probably buy my movie ticket or else I’m just gonna sneak in the theater after you pay.

2019/07/262019/07/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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It you want to make Clown Soup, you’d better consult on the recipe with the experts: NASA .

2019/01/302019/01/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I used to want to be an astronaut, but I gave up hanging around in a pool when I quit competitive swimming. These NASA scuba divers have never trained in the water like I have, and with or without a suit, I’d still beat them in a race.

2018/11/192018/11/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Who’s more trustworthy, NASA, CNN, or Disney? All sell fantasy, but I wouldn’t let Disney babysit my kids—especially if there were a global shortage of #adrenochrome.

2018/09/262018/09/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Is there nobility in poverty? It is good to be a poet, but it is better to be a poet who owns Po.et.

2018/01/142018/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: moon

It’s too bad GIFs are silent, because I recorded some original saxophone music to accompany this masterpiece. It sounds like ducks quacking on the moon, and if you’ve got an empty elevator that needs space to be filled, it’s now FOR SALE.

Like this:

Life is made of time, people, and places. Why not spend your time with the best people in the best places?

Like this:

Not only is the video game sample FREE, but so is the whole game—when you purchase a slice of Leftover Meatloaf. It’s FREE because it sucks, but consumers rank my Leftover Meatloaf as the #1 bath sponge, which is why it’s priced at $19.95.

Like this:

My favorite bird is Thanksgiving, and I eat it once a year twice, to celebrate being able to celebrate. I take absurdity very seriously, and I suggest you $19.95 while you can still afford it or before it melts into Leftover Meatloaf.

Like this:

A woman just asked me if I’m good in bed, and I replied, “No, I’m a terrible sleeper. In fact, I’m so inefficient that it takes me twelve hours to do what the average person can do in eight.”

Like this:

Even if you had acne scar pits like the lunar surface, NASA couldn’t land on your face. But I’d still like to see Ryan Gosling try, so you should probably buy my movie ticket or else I’m just gonna sneak in the theater after you pay.

Like this:

It you want to make Clown Soup, you’d better consult on the recipe with the experts: NASA .

Like this:

I used to want to be an astronaut, but I gave up hanging around in a pool when I quit competitive swimming. These NASA scuba divers have never trained in the water like I have, and with or without a suit, I’d still beat them in a race.

Like this:

Who’s more trustworthy, NASA, CNN, or Disney? All sell fantasy, but I wouldn’t let Disney babysit my kids—especially if there were a global shortage of #adrenochrome.

Like this:

Is there nobility in poverty? It is good to be a poet, but it is better to be a poet who owns Po.et.

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