I drink every ounce of beer like it’s a liquid gold coin. Craig at Cheeky Monkey made me feel like a Swiss vault—and at piggybank prices.
Buy One Wheel, Get One FREE. You get TWO unicycles for the price of ONE bicycle. And if you act NOW, I’ll even include Frozen Duck Soup On A Stick for FREE.
I know Romance is dying, and I feel bad that I won’t be able to bring it any homemade Duck Noodle Soup, but at the same time I am happy to be SOLD OUT. Julia Roberts galloped past BearPaw Duck Farm and drank up my entire stash, which was FULL and stored in Branson’s water tower.
Call TODAY to inquire about TOMORROW. The Future is NOW, and it’s ONLY $19.95 per serving!
You plant a tree to have something to leave behind, like a monkey in a bathtub. This #SponsoredAd was brought to you by April in The Ozarks.
A bar of soap on a stick is a lollipop of sorts—if your kid has a filthy mouth. If your son ever says something like, “Taxes are the price we pay to live in a civilized society,” you should wash his mouth out immediately.
Next time a bicycle steals my monkey, I hope another floating head appears to offer emotional support. Maybe next time he’ll bring a matching and connected body, so he can chase down that bicycle thief—that thief of a bicycle.
When you wash with April in The Ozarks, I guarantee you’ll be fresh. Maybe not as fresh as a monkey in a fur coat and sunglasses with a gold chain and a slow roll stroll, but pretty close.
Movies are so expensive these days, but if the theater has their bathrooms stocked with April in The Ozarks, and your dapper companion spends two hours washing his hands over and over and you miss the film, then it’s money well spent.