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Tag: meme

Having a duck farm means dealing with a lot of shit. That’s why I have a meme farm too, so I can also talk a lot of shit.

2021/11/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I may not be a finger linguist, but it doesn’t take a sign language interpreter to figure out what she said. I just want to know one thing: Are you gonna let her talk about you like that?

2021/10/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you’ve ever had my World Famous SwimmingBird Soup, you probably think it tastes like a kangaroo chase. You may wonder, “Is it organic?” The answer is YES! I use 100% REAL powdered kangaroo chase to flavor my soup.

2020/12/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A lie calls itself The Truth, and The Truth calls itself The Truth. The Truth looks like The Truth because it IS The Truth, but a lie looks like The Truth because it’s in disguise. So, how do we tell the two apart? Look for those things those in power are actively trying to hide.

2020/12/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I make love like I make coffee. Actually, Jo made it for me today, twice, which is why it was so good, and why it costs me two bucks. But at least she gave me FREE refills. For a good time, visit Precision Coffee.

2020/09/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I drink every ounce of beer like it’s a liquid gold coin. Craig at Cheeky Monkey made me feel like a Swiss vault—and at piggybank prices.

2020/09/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My only note for Branson’s Anthems of Rock is what I tell potential buyers at my Tupperware Parties: You can never have too much Meatloaf. It makes such perfect Leftovers that a whole show could be done from the classic love ballad that’s beloved by fans of all hearing ranges.

2020/09/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I make my memes so spicy that I’ve got Popeyes calling me asking me for my recipe. I’ve got to make them hot, because I’m trying to sell mayonnaise.

2020/09/062020/09/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When it comes to sunglasses, I’m like Corey Hart. Oh, I don’t wear them at night, but I did buy a pair from Branson’s Five & Dime. Sure, the customer I accosted for an autograph claimed to NOT be Corey Hart, but that’s exactly what Corey Hart would say.

2020/08/252020/08/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you sell the same thing as your competitor, then what people are really buying is into you as a brand. Use memes to show you’re a real person, even if you’re a solar-powered AI robot.

2020/08/232020/08/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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