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Combat is dangerous, and no matter if it’s Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Muay Thai, or grappling, no Octagon Warrior wants to get put to sleep by a Pillow Fighter. That’s why Dana White won’t sign me to a contract.

2021/01/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Dr. Gibsmedat is right. Where’s my fake money?!

2021/01/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Eating at Outback in Branson is always a good time. But you’d better plan ahead, because that time is seventeen hours in the future.

2021/01/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Here at BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm, I’ve sold more T-shirts than I have eggs. That’s because I’ve sold ONE T-shirt. I know, because I bought it myself. I guess I am a pretty savvy businessman.

2021/01/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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It’s like my good friend Elon Musk said, “If you don’t shop at BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm, you’ll wish you were born as a hologram, because I’m going to Mars to be with other beings of light, so go buy a Tesla and starve.”

2021/01/122021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm now offers FREE refills on T-shirts. Buy one shirt, and fill it as many times as you’d like.

2021/01/122021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Look up BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm. We’re in The Phone Book. I know, because I actually found a copy and scribbled our contact information inside. Business is about to go the way of NASA’s 1986 Challenger rocket.

2021/01/122021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I have three ducks FOR SALE. They are named Steve, Martin, and Steve Martin. When you buy Steve and Martin, you get Steve Martin for FREE. (Steve Martin sold separately.)

2021/01/122021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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There are only two things in this world that make me cry: The heroism displayed by Congress on January 6th, 2021—and chopping up onions. It just so happens that BOTH are used in BearPaw Duck Farm’s NEW SwimmingBird Soup recipe.

2021/01/082021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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You’ll taste the pow of black powder like a gunshot in your mouth. That’s the kind of explosive flavor provided by my powerful Duck Soup.

2021/01/072021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Recent Posts

  • Who is going to win this year’s Super Bowl? I don’t know, because rather than waste my time watching The NFL, I’d rather watch other scripted TV programs.
  • Combat is dangerous, and no matter if it’s Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Muay Thai, or grappling, no Octagon Warrior wants to get put to sleep by a Pillow Fighter. That’s why Dana White won’t sign me to a contract.
  • Dr. Gibsmedat is right. Where’s my fake money?!
  • Eating at Outback in Branson is always a good time. But you’d better plan ahead, because that time is seventeen hours in the future.
  • The way water sits still in a glass and holds its shape, that’s how I dance. Luckily for you, I am now offering FREE refills.
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