Tag: mcdonalds
Goldfish make great pets. You can take them for walks when it floods, and they are more cuddly than a rock, which itself makes a great pet, if you are as personable as Hillary Clinton.
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My hobbies used to be eating dead babies rebranded and camouflaged as McDonald’s hamburgers and watching TV for eight hours a day, but now I’m wholly engaged in Meme Warfare, both making and sharing, and I’ve never felt more full or fulfilled.
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If people are going to be eating people, I hope Richard Dawkins finds himself invited to dinner at the home of a family of cannibals. At least with him being silent throughout the meal, his conversational skills will be much improved.
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It has been asserted that McDonald’s serves human meat, but sells them as hamburgers.
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If you act now, my Dance Lessons are ON SALE. When you buy them you get FREE refills for life. (There is a slight upcharge for ice.)
In this economic collapse, if there is a job opening, 1,000 people apply to it—and it eventually goes to a robot. A kiosk stole my career.
But is my resentment towards @McDonalds growing? No, because I’m growing out a mullet and making a positive change in my personal image.
Maybe you aren’t as fashionable as me, or don’t want the 24/7 #LustFactor that comes with a mullet. Well, have you considered a #FakeMullet?
Wearing a headband with a fake mullet attached just might be the edge you need to separate yourself form your peers during your next job interview.
And then if you’re ready to bring romance back into your life, you can sign up for my Move To Music Like A Wet Puddle Dance Class.
Oh yes, I dance like a wet puddle, because what other kind of puddles are there? Certainly not a dry one. Duh! Don’t be absurd and sign up today!
But in the meantime, buy this AWESOME #FakeMullet:
Tap here to see this AMAZING #FakeMullet on Amazon.
jarodkintz.com 