It used to be that one dollar a month would feed a starving African child. But thanks to inflation, I guess they are now back to hunting and gathering—you know, the pursuit of kangz.
Tag: math
Pele popularized the bicycle kick, but I created the unicycle kick. It’s like the bicycle kick, only it requires more balance and one less wheel. It’s best viewed when the scent of freshly cut grass is on the breeze, and soft jazz saxophone is playing in the background.
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When math and English have sex, the baby is Algebra. I’m just glad I’m not the father, but to be honest, I was a little concerned.
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While nine out of ten dentists, or 99.9%, recommend my duck-soup-flavored toothpaste, exactly ZERO decided to buy my new math class, “Understanding How Fractions Work—And Can Work To Make You Rich.” The book is ONLY $19.95, and it comes with FREE refills.
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The worst part about this Coronavirus Crisis is that since everything has been canceled, I can’t watch sports. It’s true that as a fan I was Helen Kelleresque, but I was just about to get serious about life, and finally start paying attention to what truly matters in this world.
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Being so good at math now is surprising, because I didn’t learn to count until the 7th grade. Or was it the 8th? I get those two numbers mixed up.
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I’m a writer, so the only math I liked was Algebra, because I was all about the letters. I had no idea what to do with the numbers, but trying to find X made me feel like a treasure hunter.
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I learned to draw the old-fashioned way—while not paying attention in math class. Let me teach you the art born of boredom and distraction.
