When your skin gets carressed by the warm summer breeze, I hope you think of my breath on your body and remember the details. It’s the scents, tastes, and textures that provide richness to romance.

2019/11/262019/11/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I make love like I make coffee. That’s why if you buy right now, you get FREE refills for life. (Limited to one customer only. Promotion not valid in the following states: Alaska and Hawaii.)

2019/10/312019/10/31 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A Woman Of The Future might try to insult me and say I make love like a robot, all mechanical and without feeling, but I’ll take offense to that, because my prices will be much more affordable.

2019/09/092019/09/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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These days, robots will do everything. They’ll do your job, they’ll take your paycheck, and they’ll even make love to you, for a price, which of course you can’t afford because a robot stole your income.

2019/09/092019/09/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I make love like a rose, and I make war like a cactus. It’s up to you whether we are a garden or we are desert.

2019/08/192019/08/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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To me, making love is performance art, and right now if you’d like to see a masterpiece, tickets are just $10 bucks at the window.

2019/02/062019/02/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’ll bring the empty Tupperware containers, if you bring all the pre-made love we’ll sell to low-price buyers and high-value shoppers. (They’ll get both with our frozen product, which is ready to be reheated and enjoyed on a lonely night.)

2019/01/222019/01/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I make Dank Memes by hand. That’s also how I make love. Hopefully that will change when I get married.

2019/01/122019/01/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Actually, I do have other love making sizes to offer besides extra large, but they’re all boxed up in The Warehouse, and probably covered in cobwebs. But because you’re a valued customer, I’ll dust off the extra small to better serve you.

2018/11/272018/11/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Why make dinner, when it was just made last night and there is still some left over? Same thing with making love. If you’re horny, check the fridge.

2018/09/082018/09/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: make love

When your skin gets carressed by the warm summer breeze, I hope you think of my breath on your body and remember the details. It’s the scents, tastes, and textures that provide richness to romance.

Like this:

I make love like I make coffee. That’s why if you buy right now, you get FREE refills for life. (Limited to one customer only. Promotion not valid in the following states: Alaska and Hawaii.)

Like this:

A Woman Of The Future might try to insult me and say I make love like a robot, all mechanical and without feeling, but I’ll take offense to that, because my prices will be much more affordable.

Like this:

These days, robots will do everything. They’ll do your job, they’ll take your paycheck, and they’ll even make love to you, for a price, which of course you can’t afford because a robot stole your income.

Like this:

I make love like a rose, and I make war like a cactus. It’s up to you whether we are a garden or we are desert.

Like this:

To me, making love is performance art, and right now if you’d like to see a masterpiece, tickets are just $10 bucks at the window.

Like this:

I’ll bring the empty Tupperware containers, if you bring all the pre-made love we’ll sell to low-price buyers and high-value shoppers. (They’ll get both with our frozen product, which is ready to be reheated and enjoyed on a lonely night.)

Like this:

I make Dank Memes by hand. That’s also how I make love. Hopefully that will change when I get married.

Like this:

Actually, I do have other love making sizes to offer besides extra large, but they’re all boxed up in The Warehouse, and probably covered in cobwebs. But because you’re a valued customer, I’ll dust off the extra small to better serve you.

Like this:

Why make dinner, when it was just made last night and there is still some left over? Same thing with making love. If you’re horny, check the fridge.

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