I’m somewhat of a bird watcher myself. But I don’t need binoculars to see when other drivers show me what they think of me using only their middle fingers.
I’m a man of faith, I believe. And it’s that very belief that gives me my faith. For me the two are one, like my sale on Frozen Duck Soup Popsicles: Buy Two For The Price Of One! (Offer not valid for residents of Alaska.)
Just when you thought I couldn’t get any more romantic, I go and prove I’m 1920s Paris personified. Tickets can be found in the back pages of Joyce’s Ulysses.
I should combine a car bumper with a belt, for a fashion accessory that’s safe for office romances. (Powdered love poetry and water sold separately.)
If April in The Ozarks smells like 100% Pure Romance, it’s because we use the freshest organic love poetry. The earnest words of yearning are all locally grown right here in my heart.
If my goal is to get noticed by my Love Interest, will making weird memes get me affection? No, just look at Mike Bloomberg. No, look down. Way down. There he is, all the way down at 5’4″.
While you’re waiting on the love of your life, why don’t you go to the bathroom and wash your hands 4,321 times? It’s stocked with enough April in The Ozarks to get you through this winter of your soul.
Wasn’t it William Congreve, who in 1697 said, “Hell hath no fury like 1992 scorned”? He was a prolific and prophetic poet, and most of his later work still survives above urinals all over Branson, Missouri.
I’ll be your Mozart, if you’ll be my gang of wolves. If you can do that, I’ll also be your Wolfgang.