Every BearPaw Duck Farm marketing email I write is an interactive Romance Novel where the reader is the protagonist. The plot is simple: You fall in love and you BUY.

2020/11/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I know I advertised nude content from Michael J. 666 to get you to sign up for my OnlyFans account, but would you be disappointed enough to ask for a refund if all my videos are of me reading Victorian Love Poetry while sitting by a fire with my cat on my lap?

2020/10/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Have you ever been in love with someone who just wasn’t there for you? My last girlfriend was invisible and inaudible, and the emotional torment made me feel like Helen Keller. I sell the whole experience, but hurry, parking is limited.

2020/10/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I’m no dating expert, but if you meet a woman with one eye and a pyramid for a head, it’s best not to sleep with her, because you might be asleep for forever, like VOTERS. Swipe right for change!

2020/10/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Life is made of time, people, and places. Why not spend your time with the best people in the best places?

2020/10/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I make love like I make coffee. Actually, Jo made it for me today, twice, which is why it was so good, and why it costs me two bucks. But at least she gave me FREE refills. For a good time, visit Precision Coffee.

2020/09/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Of all the ways to say I love you, saying it in Cupcake is the most romantic. Just don’t try to say I love you with a mouthful of strawberry I love you.

2020/08/262020/08/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When you buy a dozen eggs from BearPaw Duck Farm, you get the first egg FREE, and the next eleven, maybe. I would give them to you now, but my Quacking Egg Factories make the eggs FRESH, not made to order.

2020/08/252020/08/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I love my cousin, and I’d never lie to him. Not only because I love him, but because he’s deaf, which means he reads body language like The Florida State University football team reads Dr. Seuss, and you can try to deceive with your words, but your body will always betray you.

2020/08/012020/08/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Everything is better when flavored with Love. That’s why my prices are so high!

2020/08/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: love

Every BearPaw Duck Farm marketing email I write is an interactive Romance Novel where the reader is the protagonist. The plot is simple: You fall in love and you BUY.

Like this:

I know I advertised nude content from Michael J. 666 to get you to sign up for my OnlyFans account, but would you be disappointed enough to ask for a refund if all my videos are of me reading Victorian Love Poetry while sitting by a fire with my cat on my lap?

Like this:

Have you ever been in love with someone who just wasn’t there for you? My last girlfriend was invisible and inaudible, and the emotional torment made me feel like Helen Keller. I sell the whole experience, but hurry, parking is limited.

Like this:

I’m no dating expert, but if you meet a woman with one eye and a pyramid for a head, it’s best not to sleep with her, because you might be asleep for forever, like VOTERS. Swipe right for change!

Like this:

Life is made of time, people, and places. Why not spend your time with the best people in the best places?

Like this:

I make love like I make coffee. Actually, Jo made it for me today, twice, which is why it was so good, and why it costs me two bucks. But at least she gave me FREE refills. For a good time, visit Precision Coffee.

Like this:

Of all the ways to say I love you, saying it in Cupcake is the most romantic. Just don’t try to say I love you with a mouthful of strawberry I love you.

Like this:

When you buy a dozen eggs from BearPaw Duck Farm, you get the first egg FREE, and the next eleven, maybe. I would give them to you now, but my Quacking Egg Factories make the eggs FRESH, not made to order.

Like this:

I love my cousin, and I’d never lie to him. Not only because I love him, but because he’s deaf, which means he reads body language like The Florida State University football team reads Dr. Seuss, and you can try to deceive with your words, but your body will always betray you.

Like this:

Everything is better when flavored with Love. That’s why my prices are so high!

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