I once met a man in Branson, and I thought to myself, “Who is this guy?” So I went up to him and said, “Is that you, dad?” He laughed and told me he was younger than me, so I said, “So does that make you my grandpa?” Then I tried to sell him some pills that cure dyslexia.


Orville, Clive, Stuart, Ambrose, Thaddeus, Landon, Jaxson, Colton, Ayden, Kingston, Duke, Nathaniel, Wesley, Blake, Preston, Colt, Arthur, & Remington all told me it would be better to be shot by a Yankee than to give my heart to you, but I was Helen Keller to their sound advice.