A lollipop is a sucker. So is a flag worshipper. There is no more absurd non-sequitur than celebrating FREEDOM in a country with the highest incarceration rate—and a history of endless warmongering.

2021/07/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Are lollipops suckers? Are Trump VOTERS lollipops? Yes and yes!

2020/10/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

My boot-flavored lollipops are now available in size 15, for that depth of texture statists love. Discounts available for VOTERS.

2020/06/232020/06/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Branson’s got more waterfalls per square mile than any other shape of measuring landmass. Next time, try circles! (Waterproof sticks sold separately.)

2020/02/272020/02/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I cuddle cats, and I catch fish, but I never wrestle with catfish, because I take naps in blocks of time that are wooden and that double as coffee tables. FREE refills while supplies last.

2020/02/152020/02/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A bar of soap on a stick is a lollipop of sorts—if your kid has a filthy mouth. If your son ever says something like, “Taxes are the price we pay to live in a civilized society,” you should wash his mouth out immediately.

2020/01/242020/01/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I also have a Kyle-shaped mannequin for sale, but I named it Squiblob, after its mother. We fell in love before I realized she was just using me for sex.

2019/04/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My Waterfall Lollipops are 100% REAL fake, just like CNN is 100% FAKE real. The fish-piss taste in my Waterfall Lollipops lasts 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, with intermittent Brita-Water-Filter-Commercial-Break-Flavored freshness.

2018/10/052018/10/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Societal change starts with me, and if I use my voice to say another should speak for me, by voting, then I can change The System. I’ll use The System to beat The System, by giving power to another person to challenge The System for me, with the understanding that The System that person earns a living off of should be destroyed by that person.

2018/09/282018/09/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

If #FakeNews is nonsense, then the best reply is a non sequitur. Just because they tell 10% of the truth, doesn’t mean they’re not 100% bullshit. I could just ignore them, but then they’d be ignorant to my true disgust for them, and where’s the fun in that?

2018/07/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: lollipop

A lollipop is a sucker. So is a flag worshipper. There is no more absurd non-sequitur than celebrating FREEDOM in a country with the highest incarceration rate—and a history of endless warmongering.

Like this:

Are lollipops suckers? Are Trump VOTERS lollipops? Yes and yes!

Like this:

My boot-flavored lollipops are now available in size 15, for that depth of texture statists love. Discounts available for VOTERS.

Like this:

Branson’s got more waterfalls per square mile than any other shape of measuring landmass. Next time, try circles! (Waterproof sticks sold separately.)

Like this:

I cuddle cats, and I catch fish, but I never wrestle with catfish, because I take naps in blocks of time that are wooden and that double as coffee tables. FREE refills while supplies last.

Like this:

A bar of soap on a stick is a lollipop of sorts—if your kid has a filthy mouth. If your son ever says something like, “Taxes are the price we pay to live in a civilized society,” you should wash his mouth out immediately.

Like this:

I also have a Kyle-shaped mannequin for sale, but I named it Squiblob, after its mother. We fell in love before I realized she was just using me for sex.

Like this:

My Waterfall Lollipops are 100% REAL fake, just like CNN is 100% FAKE real. The fish-piss taste in my Waterfall Lollipops lasts 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, with intermittent Brita-Water-Filter-Commercial-Break-Flavored freshness.

Like this:

If #FakeNews is nonsense, then the best reply is a non sequitur. Just because they tell 10% of the truth, doesn’t mean they’re not 100% bullshit. I could just ignore them, but then they’d be ignorant to my true disgust for them, and where’s the fun in that?

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