Tag: lollipop
Branson’s got more waterfalls per square mile than any other shape of measuring landmass. Next time, try circles! (Waterproof sticks sold separately.)
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I cuddle cats, and I catch fish, but I never wrestle with catfish, because I take naps in blocks of time that are wooden and that double as coffee tables. FREE refills while supplies last.
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A bar of soap on a stick is a lollipop of sorts—if your kid has a filthy mouth. If your son ever says something like, “Taxes are the price we pay to live in a civilized society,” you should wash his mouth out immediately.
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I also have a Kyle-shaped mannequin for sale, but I named it Squiblob, after its mother. We fell in love before I realized she was just using me for sex.
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My Waterfall Lollipops are 100% REAL fake, just like CNN is 100% FAKE real. The fish-piss taste in my Waterfall Lollipops lasts 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, with intermittent Brita-Water-Filter-Commercial-Break-Flavored freshness.
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Societal change starts with me, and if I use my voice to say another should speak for me, by voting, then I can change The System. I’ll use The System to beat The System, by giving power to another person to challenge The System for me, with the understanding that The System that person earns a living off of should be destroyed by that person.
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If #FakeNews is nonsense, then the best reply is a non sequitur. Just because they tell 10% of the truth, doesn’t mean they’re not 100% bullshit. I could just ignore them, but then they’d be ignorant to my true disgust for them, and where’s the fun in that?
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Would you ever buy a Rainbow On A Stick? Some people might say it would taste like a gay air lollipop, but I’d say it’d be God’s Promise Flavored. Either way, I’m selling them at Buy One, Get A FREE Umbrella prices.
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A tree sticking up into the sky just before dark makes a Sunset Lollipop. And if you buy before tomorrow night, I’m selling them at Buy One Get One prices! (Limit one per customer per day. Also, my limit is one per day, as that’s all I keep in stock.)
