People often mistake my extreme athleticism for laziness. They think my cat and I are simply taking a nap, but they don’t realize we are training in the sport known as Cuddling. The only way you get to be World Cuddling Champions is if you train for hours and hours every day.

2020/10/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I admire the courage of the QAnon crowd, who bravely sit on their sofas watching FOX News, smug in their comfortable belief that mythical heroes in white hats are SAVING us by assisting The Globalists in destroying our FREEDOM. That’s a BOLD strategy on the part of the red hats.

2020/04/112020/04/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I saw a rooster on a leash, so I asked the guy walking it if he was offering Meals On A Leash. He denied being an industry disruptor, an innovator, so I snatched the approach to FRESH delivery food and transformed it into a new #startup.

2020/03/262020/03/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A woman just asked me if I’m good in bed, and I replied, “No, I’m a terrible sleeper. In fact, I’m so inefficient that it takes me twelve hours to do what the average person can do in eight.”

2019/10/082019/10/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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To get what you want, you’ve got to be willing to work hard for it, and I want to be able to get good sleep, which doesn’t come naturally for me, so I’m willing to lay in bed for twelve hours straight, practicing and trying to perfect my craft like I’m a true professional.

2019/09/282019/09/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m not a very good sleeper. But you know what? I’m willing to put in a few extra hours every day to get better. That’s just the kind of hard worker I am.

2019/01/132019/01/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I just ordered some fresh rockets from NASA, which was probably unwise, because it guarantees sales will never be out of this world.

2019/01/092019/01/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I should probably start selling all the sleep I’ve been accumulating from restless nights. I’d sell sleep in small, medium, and large, but all three would come with FREE refills, which is why all three containers will look exactly the same size.

2018/04/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: lazy

People often mistake my extreme athleticism for laziness. They think my cat and I are simply taking a nap, but they don’t realize we are training in the sport known as Cuddling. The only way you get to be World Cuddling Champions is if you train for hours and hours every day.

Like this:

I admire the courage of the QAnon crowd, who bravely sit on their sofas watching FOX News, smug in their comfortable belief that mythical heroes in white hats are SAVING us by assisting The Globalists in destroying our FREEDOM. That’s a BOLD strategy on the part of the red hats.

Like this:

I saw a rooster on a leash, so I asked the guy walking it if he was offering Meals On A Leash. He denied being an industry disruptor, an innovator, so I snatched the approach to FRESH delivery food and transformed it into a new #startup.

Like this:

A woman just asked me if I’m good in bed, and I replied, “No, I’m a terrible sleeper. In fact, I’m so inefficient that it takes me twelve hours to do what the average person can do in eight.”

Like this:

To get what you want, you’ve got to be willing to work hard for it, and I want to be able to get good sleep, which doesn’t come naturally for me, so I’m willing to lay in bed for twelve hours straight, practicing and trying to perfect my craft like I’m a true professional.

Like this:

I’m not a very good sleeper. But you know what? I’m willing to put in a few extra hours every day to get better. That’s just the kind of hard worker I am.

Like this:

I just ordered some fresh rockets from NASA, which was probably unwise, because it guarantees sales will never be out of this world.

Like this:

I should probably start selling all the sleep I’ve been accumulating from restless nights. I’d sell sleep in small, medium, and large, but all three would come with FREE refills, which is why all three containers will look exactly the same size.

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