I hope the bank hires me, because I’d really like to get back into the swing of things. Like Babe Ruth meets Mob Enforcer.

2020/10/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Have I ever driven a forklift before? Has The Pope ever read The Bible? The answer is no, but that doesn’t mean I’m not the best man for the job. How do I know I’m the best? Because I bought a trophy that says exactly that and corroborates my claim.

2020/10/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Branson business owners complain that it’s hard to find good help among the locals. I guess it would be hard to find quality American labor when you’re paying Chinese slave factory wages.

2020/08/192020/08/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Branson offers competitive wages. Its most comparable competitor is a city in China—the place where they have all those slave-labor factories making cheap Walmart products.

2020/08/192020/08/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Now that nobody has any money or job, maybe people would pay me to print them income. Buy a $100 dollar bill for ONLY $19.95—or Five For Fifty dollars. (Fake, fake, fake money not an acceptable form of payment for fake, fake money.)

2020/04/212020/04/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Oh, The Branson Missouri Chamber of Commerce is going to sunny Puerto Rico in the middle of dreary winter? Who is paying for their vacation that’s masquerading as philanthropic mission work?

2020/02/042020/02/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The reason I make soap by hand is it’s cleaner than making it by foot. Plus, there are too many steps in the process of making things by foot, so I’ll leave that to the wineries.

2020/01/312020/01/31 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Next time a bicycle steals my monkey, I hope another floating head appears to offer emotional support. Maybe next time he’ll bring a matching and connected body, so he can chase down that bicycle thief—that thief of a bicycle.

2020/01/202020/01/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’d like to be mayor of Branson for just one day. That day would be yesterday, because I was sick, so I’d have called out of work, but also thanked The People for voting.

2020/01/012020/01/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I have never made a cashier cry, but I have gotten into a shouting match with one, because he counted up 11 items to ring up, and he was in the 10 items or less line, but one product I was buying was Buy One, Get One FREE, so I argued Item 11 should be thought of as invisible.

2019/12/132019/12/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: job

I hope the bank hires me, because I’d really like to get back into the swing of things. Like Babe Ruth meets Mob Enforcer.

Like this:

Have I ever driven a forklift before? Has The Pope ever read The Bible? The answer is no, but that doesn’t mean I’m not the best man for the job. How do I know I’m the best? Because I bought a trophy that says exactly that and corroborates my claim.

Like this:

Branson business owners complain that it’s hard to find good help among the locals. I guess it would be hard to find quality American labor when you’re paying Chinese slave factory wages.

Like this:

Branson offers competitive wages. Its most comparable competitor is a city in China—the place where they have all those slave-labor factories making cheap Walmart products.

Like this:

Now that nobody has any money or job, maybe people would pay me to print them income. Buy a $100 dollar bill for ONLY $19.95—or Five For Fifty dollars. (Fake, fake, fake money not an acceptable form of payment for fake, fake money.)

Like this:

Oh, The Branson Missouri Chamber of Commerce is going to sunny Puerto Rico in the middle of dreary winter? Who is paying for their vacation that’s masquerading as philanthropic mission work?

Like this:

The reason I make soap by hand is it’s cleaner than making it by foot. Plus, there are too many steps in the process of making things by foot, so I’ll leave that to the wineries.

Like this:

Next time a bicycle steals my monkey, I hope another floating head appears to offer emotional support. Maybe next time he’ll bring a matching and connected body, so he can chase down that bicycle thief—that thief of a bicycle.

Like this:

I’d like to be mayor of Branson for just one day. That day would be yesterday, because I was sick, so I’d have called out of work, but also thanked The People for voting.

Like this:

I have never made a cashier cry, but I have gotten into a shouting match with one, because he counted up 11 items to ring up, and he was in the 10 items or less line, but one product I was buying was Buy One, Get One FREE, so I argued Item 11 should be thought of as invisible.

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