McDonald’s makes my grandma’s leftover meatloaf look fresh. She died in 1999.
Tag: jarod kintz
If I wrote a dictionary, would you read it? What if I made it flow like a Nicholas Sparks romance novel?
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If you are what you eat, then this morning I am nothing. But at least I’m awake, because I’m drinking coffee and I don’t watch mainstream news.
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If a library has no books, it’s just an empty building, and people would know there had been a heist. But if you burn the library after you loot it, then it’s not a robbery, it’s a loss that won’t be looked for or pursued.
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Helen Keller was a master at keeping secrets. Perhaps the biggest secret that she kept was that she was a he.
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You cannot buy what’s not for sale. But for a limited time, you can purchase what may or may not exist.
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Ducks can run, swim, fly, and have reduced the complexity of language down to the easily memorizable word, “Quack.” No wonder their eggs taste like the achievements of Roger Bannister, Michael Phelps, Amelia Earhart, and William Shakespeare.
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Every time a duck talks to you, it says, “Quack.” That’s a species so advanced it has reduced the complexity of communication down to a one-word language.
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The Flash can run, Aquaman can swim, and Superman can fly. Basically, every duck is like a Triple Superhero, and I think that’s worth a few billion dollars in ticket sales.
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People from Kansas drive as slow as corn grows. They think just as quickly, too, and I recommend a conversation with a tourist from there as a natural sleep remedy.
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