Tag: jarod kintz
Ah, April in The Ozarks Day. I love this time of year because it lasts all year. It’s the one day of the year that’s all the days of the year, and that makes it special.
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I had a dream about you last night. What did you mean when you said, “Can I borrow your Tomato Machine? I left my seven in my head.” I thought you left eight! Now my calculations are WAY off!
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Glad Trump bailed out The People. The deal’s full of fizzle and overflowing with MAGA. As a ratio, The Banksters get enough money to buy out Coca-Cola, the whole company, while The People get spare change to split a can of soda—if we could find some place to even spend our money.
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I look at “I Voted” stickers the same way I look at Trophies For All. It’s a way to feel good about yourself, as if you actually accomplished something, when in reality it’s used as a tool to stop you from striving to achieve through failure.
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I may dance like two-thirds of the bottom half of a piano, but that doesn’t mean you can buy my Romantic Moves. However, they are FOR RENT at Truck Stop Diner Prices.
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I’m what you’d call a REAL patriot. You know, a man so overflowing with MAGA that my loyalty can be rented for ONLY $1,200 dollars per month.
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Drink up your delusion while you still can. FREE refills while supplies last.
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New Christianity has a NEW bible. It’s called The Talmud. It’s a real page-turner. If you hate your life now, wait until you read what The Self-Chosenites think about you!
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I saw a rooster on a leash, so I asked the guy walking it if he was offering Meals On A Leash. He denied being an industry disruptor, an innovator, so I snatched the approach to FRESH delivery food and transformed it into a new #startup.
