Tag: jarod kintz
From time to time I think about quitting my job. The first time I think about quitting is the moment I clock in to work, and the second time I think about quitting is one second later.
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My favorite bird is Thanksgiving, and I eat it once a year twice, to celebrate being able to celebrate. I take absurdity very seriously, and I suggest you $19.95 while you can still afford it or before it melts into Leftover Meatloaf.
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The best part about living in The Ozarks is I’m not living anywhere else. This will be especially true when everywhere else gets destroyed, and I’m safe and alone, except for the elites who also saw The CIA map showing Florida getting flooded, along with most of The US.
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Some people are beautiful on the outside and ugly on the inside, and some people are ugly on the outside and beautiful on the inside. I am like those people, and if you were to see who I am on the inside, you’d say, “Wow, you’re really jiggly!” Skin, it’s holding me back in life.
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I used to think alligators were reptiles until I found out about guys like Henry Kissinger, Trump and Putin’s handler, and now I see that alligators are human by comparison. Though Kissinger has Kiss in his name, there is no love in him.
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Yesterday, today, and tomorrow are one, just like I am one, and yet I am not who I was or who I will be, and if you think I owe you money, then I am definitely not that guy.
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Grapes turn into raisins, but I wish there were a fruit that went the opposite way, and it started out a plump grape and then got bigger and juicier, like a plum. I also wish it came in two colors: Gold and silver.
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A pulled tooth is heart-shaped, if yanked with love. That’s what I do—for ONLY $19.95!
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Vote for me. Make 2020 about vision once again, and let the blind and deaf vote for the dumb.
