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Tag: inventory

While you’re waiting on the love of your life, why don’t you go to the bathroom and wash your hands 4,321 times? It’s stocked with enough April in The Ozarks to get you through this winter of your soul.

2020/01/312020/01/31 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A broken clock is right twice a day—and that makes NOW the perfect time to buy one, because now when you Buy One Broken Clock, You Get FREE Fake Space! I buy Factory Direct from NASA, so you know my inventory is FRESH.

2019/03/072019/03/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I sell Blindfolds, and I sell Dancing Lessons, and you’ll need both if you want to be my student. I hope you do want to be my student, because I’d really like to unload my inventory of Dancing Lessons. They are just sitting in boxes, taking up space in my warehouse.

2018/09/042018/09/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I don’t actually have any snuggles for sale, of course. Or cuddles. But only because I’m currently OUT OF STOCK. Come back tomorrow night, and I should have a fresh supply of inventory for you to purchase.

2017/12/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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  • They call it the Theater of War because it’s a play. The Zionists are playing you for fools, and they applaud when you kill their enemies—and they applaud when you die fighting for them. The next war will be their biggest ever blood-sacrifice ritual to Moloch.
  • Everybody knows I’m an adrenaline junky. That’s why nobody lets me watch mainstream news, because they know how it gets my heart rate amped. Fake narratives have a way of doing that to me.
  • It’s not that I don’t like buying things, it’s that I don’t like paying. But if you’re going to waste your money, you may as well spend it on me.
  • Dunkin’ Donuts considers its rival to be Starbucks. That means when Dunkin’ comes to town, not only are local donut shops threatened, but so are our local coffee shops. Way to go, Chamber of Commerce! You have helped to siphon money away from TWO categories of local businesses!
  • Skate Mania is now known as a skating rink, but I call it what it one day could be: A GIF Factory. The Three Stooges made a career out of falling down, and little kids and addled adults pay money to provide Skate Mania with that kind of hilarious content.
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