Do you often feel lethargic, like you have no energy? Next time, try charging your body through electrocution via lightning bolt. I now make and sell pointy metal hats that are designed to be worn in thunderstorms.

2021/06/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I saw a rooster on a leash, so I asked the guy walking it if he was offering Meals On A Leash. He denied being an industry disruptor, an innovator, so I snatched the approach to FRESH delivery food and transformed it into a new #startup.

2020/03/262020/03/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Right now I’m selling tornado-flavored ice cream at Buy One get 99 FREE for ONLY $19.95! (Offer not valid for residents of Oklahoma, Kansas, or Nebraska.)

2019/05/302019/05/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My Dancing Lessons In A Box are completely SOLD OUT. I’m waiting for more cardboard to come in, so you should Pre-Order yours today.

2019/01/062019/01/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My Waterfall Lollipops are 100% REAL fake, just like CNN is 100% FAKE real. The fish-piss taste in my Waterfall Lollipops lasts 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, with intermittent Brita-Water-Filter-Commercial-Break-Flavored freshness.

2018/10/052018/10/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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In between meals I eat snacks, and in between snacks I eat microsnacks, and this is how I plan on being around forever. Or at least a round.

2018/09/282018/09/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I want my coffee shop to wake up both your mind and your soul, and an innovative and immersive experience involving inspiration through a real time stream of relevant hashtags will make my Caffeine Distribution Operation worthy of being named Woke.

2018/09/202018/09/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

We made love like we made dinner. We had leftovers. The secret to testing the limits of what’s possible is covering all things with NASA’s lunar tinfoil, and it’ll keep meatloaf fresh for years.

2018/04/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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There’s a Family Reunion coming up, and since I’m pondering deleting Facebook, I decided to make a Fresh Meme for my blood normies to enjoy.

2018/03/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Tag: innovate

Do you often feel lethargic, like you have no energy? Next time, try charging your body through electrocution via lightning bolt. I now make and sell pointy metal hats that are designed to be worn in thunderstorms.

Like this:

I saw a rooster on a leash, so I asked the guy walking it if he was offering Meals On A Leash. He denied being an industry disruptor, an innovator, so I snatched the approach to FRESH delivery food and transformed it into a new #startup.

Like this:

Right now I’m selling tornado-flavored ice cream at Buy One get 99 FREE for ONLY $19.95! (Offer not valid for residents of Oklahoma, Kansas, or Nebraska.)

Like this:

My Dancing Lessons In A Box are completely SOLD OUT. I’m waiting for more cardboard to come in, so you should Pre-Order yours today.

Like this:

My Waterfall Lollipops are 100% REAL fake, just like CNN is 100% FAKE real. The fish-piss taste in my Waterfall Lollipops lasts 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, with intermittent Brita-Water-Filter-Commercial-Break-Flavored freshness.

Like this:

In between meals I eat snacks, and in between snacks I eat microsnacks, and this is how I plan on being around forever. Or at least a round.

Like this:

We made love like we made dinner. We had leftovers. The secret to testing the limits of what’s possible is covering all things with NASA’s lunar tinfoil, and it’ll keep meatloaf fresh for years.

Like this:

There’s a Family Reunion coming up, and since I’m pondering deleting Facebook, I decided to make a Fresh Meme for my blood normies to enjoy.

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