I used to think the strongest synonym to the word FOOL was VOTER. Now I see that VACCINATED is even closer.

2021/10/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Did you know Helen Keller was blind, deaf, and mute? OK, but did you know she taught herself how to read and write using only Alphabet Soup?

2021/10/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

It used to be that one dollar a month would feed a starving African child. But thanks to inflation, I guess they are now back to hunting and gathering—you know, the pursuit of kangz.

2021/10/022021/10/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

It’s too bad GIFs are silent, because I recorded some original saxophone music to accompany this masterpiece. It sounds like ducks quacking on the moon, and if you’ve got an empty elevator that needs space to be filled, it’s now FOR SALE.

2021/09/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

OK fine, I’ll be your Jared Leto. In return, all you need to do is cash this million-dollar check from a recently deceased prince, and advance me the proceeds, minus 10 percent for facilitating the financial transaction. That’s right, YOU get to keep $100,000 for almost no work.

2021/09/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

One Hundred Trillion Zimbabwe Dollars is both a lot of money and not a lot or money. It’s a huge sum that’s worth nothing. That means you’re practically getting my love for FREE.

2021/09/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Even in today’s inflationary environment, $10,000 for one load of unvaxxed semen seems a bit stiff. That’s why I’m offering the deal of a lifetime: Buy One Load, Get One FREE. That’s two kids for the price of one! (Freeze as directed.)

2021/08/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

The funeral business is the only one with no repeat customers. Though you only die once, why not buy your own funeral from me twice? My Buy One Funeral, Get One FREE deal only applies the second time you purchase a custom Death Party.

2021/07/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we value self-expression—even if that extends to gender. That’s why we sell T-shirts in Men’s, Women’s, and More Expensive. There may be 333 different genders, but we’ll only charge you more money for 331 of them.

2021/07/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I should be a movie star. Have you seen me in action? If not, you’ve probably seen me inaction.

2021/06/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Tag: humor

I used to think the strongest synonym to the word FOOL was VOTER. Now I see that VACCINATED is even closer.

Like this:

Did you know Helen Keller was blind, deaf, and mute? OK, but did you know she taught herself how to read and write using only Alphabet Soup?

Like this:

It used to be that one dollar a month would feed a starving African child. But thanks to inflation, I guess they are now back to hunting and gathering—you know, the pursuit of kangz.

Like this:

It’s too bad GIFs are silent, because I recorded some original saxophone music to accompany this masterpiece. It sounds like ducks quacking on the moon, and if you’ve got an empty elevator that needs space to be filled, it’s now FOR SALE.

Like this:

OK fine, I’ll be your Jared Leto. In return, all you need to do is cash this million-dollar check from a recently deceased prince, and advance me the proceeds, minus 10 percent for facilitating the financial transaction. That’s right, YOU get to keep $100,000 for almost no work.

Like this:

One Hundred Trillion Zimbabwe Dollars is both a lot of money and not a lot or money. It’s a huge sum that’s worth nothing. That means you’re practically getting my love for FREE.

Like this:

Even in today’s inflationary environment, $10,000 for one load of unvaxxed semen seems a bit stiff. That’s why I’m offering the deal of a lifetime: Buy One Load, Get One FREE. That’s two kids for the price of one! (Freeze as directed.)

Like this:

The funeral business is the only one with no repeat customers. Though you only die once, why not buy your own funeral from me twice? My Buy One Funeral, Get One FREE deal only applies the second time you purchase a custom Death Party.

Like this:

At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we value self-expression—even if that extends to gender. That’s why we sell T-shirts in Men’s, Women’s, and More Expensive. There may be 333 different genders, but we’ll only charge you more money for 331 of them.

Like this:

I should be a movie star. Have you seen me in action? If not, you’ve probably seen me inaction.

Like this:

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