Tag: humor
Sorry folks, Branson is CLOSED for cleaning. We apologize for the inconvenience. If you’ll take a seat on the hard, wooden bench, we should be open again by the year 2030.
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Some people make weird memes, but as the Founder, President, and only member of Citizens For Serious Memes And Against Absurdity, I think that’s nonsense. Meetings for this prestigious Meme Culture Association are held every morning in my shower.
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If my goal is to get noticed by my Love Interest, will making weird memes get me affection? No, just look at Mike Bloomberg. No, look down. Way down. There he is, all the way down at 5’4″.
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There are no Speed Limit signs on your road to success. The revenue collectors are irrelevant and should be avoided at all cost.
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Oh, The Branson Missouri Chamber of Commerce is going to sunny Puerto Rico in the middle of dreary winter? Who is paying for their vacation that’s masquerading as philanthropic mission work?
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I think “The devil made me do it” is a sound legal argument. After all, you’re sure to elicit sympathy from the man in the abyss-black robe whose job is to keep for-profit prisons stocked with human flesh to torment and torture. He loves it when you call him “Your Honor.”
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While you’re waiting on the love of your life, why don’t you go to the bathroom and wash your hands 4,321 times? It’s stocked with enough April in The Ozarks to get you through this winter of your soul.
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I’m a writer, so the only math I liked was Algebra, because I was all about the letters. I had no idea what to do with the numbers, but trying to find X made me feel like a treasure hunter.
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The reason I make soap by hand is it’s cleaner than making it by foot. Plus, there are too many steps in the process of making things by foot, so I’ll leave that to the wineries.
