The thing about driving down Memory Lane is you can only go in reverse. Another name for Memory Lane, at least for me, is The Drive Thru. It always reminds me of better days, like the ones that filled up last week.

2021/02/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Are you the sort of person who eats dessert before or after dinner? As for me, I do BOTH. I eat dessert, dinner, and then dessert again. Without the desserts on both sides of the dinner, there’d be no balance, and a balanced diet is a healthy diet.

2021/02/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Dr. Gibsmedat is right. Where’s my fake money?!

2021/01/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Eating at Outback in Branson is always a good time. But you’d better plan ahead, because that time is seventeen hours in the future.

2021/01/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I have three ducks FOR SALE. They are named Steve, Martin, and Steve Martin. When you buy Steve and Martin, you get Steve Martin for FREE. (Steve Martin sold separately.)

2021/01/122021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I know A LOT about money. Not from, you know, having any, but more from reading about it.

2021/01/062021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

The flavor of lemon is very punchy, and it hits you in the mouth like a boxer, which is why I drink it when I’m training for a fight. Of course, I do other things to prepare, like sitting on the grass watching my ducks squabble while I drink beer.

2021/01/032021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

It’s quite likely that I just wrote the BEST book full of duck quotes in existence. It’s also true that it’s probably the ONLY book of duck quotes, but so what? I’m still number ONE, and in my book, that’s worthy of a gold medal.

2021/01/022021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Sleeping should be an Olympic sport. I’m not a very good sleeper now, but in four years, training 18-20 hours a day, I just might be World Champion. Do I have the work ethic to train that hard and sleep that long? Ask my Statistics 101 professor.

2020/12/312021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

My cousin doesn’t know my name, so he calls me Marie The 13th. I told him, “Please, call me Mr. The 13th. Marie is my father’s name.” Family reunions are always awkward because nobody there is related to me. Still, I give them all discounts on BearPaw Duck Farm omelets.

2020/12/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Tag: humor

The thing about driving down Memory Lane is you can only go in reverse. Another name for Memory Lane, at least for me, is The Drive Thru. It always reminds me of better days, like the ones that filled up last week.

Like this:

Are you the sort of person who eats dessert before or after dinner? As for me, I do BOTH. I eat dessert, dinner, and then dessert again. Without the desserts on both sides of the dinner, there’d be no balance, and a balanced diet is a healthy diet.

Like this:

Dr. Gibsmedat is right. Where’s my fake money?!

Like this:

Eating at Outback in Branson is always a good time. But you’d better plan ahead, because that time is seventeen hours in the future.

Like this:

I have three ducks FOR SALE. They are named Steve, Martin, and Steve Martin. When you buy Steve and Martin, you get Steve Martin for FREE. (Steve Martin sold separately.)

Like this:

I know A LOT about money. Not from, you know, having any, but more from reading about it.

Like this:

The flavor of lemon is very punchy, and it hits you in the mouth like a boxer, which is why I drink it when I’m training for a fight. Of course, I do other things to prepare, like sitting on the grass watching my ducks squabble while I drink beer.

Like this:

It’s quite likely that I just wrote the BEST book full of duck quotes in existence. It’s also true that it’s probably the ONLY book of duck quotes, but so what? I’m still number ONE, and in my book, that’s worthy of a gold medal.

Like this:

Sleeping should be an Olympic sport. I’m not a very good sleeper now, but in four years, training 18-20 hours a day, I just might be World Champion. Do I have the work ethic to train that hard and sleep that long? Ask my Statistics 101 professor.

Like this:

My cousin doesn’t know my name, so he calls me Marie The 13th. I told him, “Please, call me Mr. The 13th. Marie is my father’s name.” Family reunions are always awkward because nobody there is related to me. Still, I give them all discounts on BearPaw Duck Farm omelets.

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