The funeral business is the only one with no repeat customers. Though you only die once, why not buy your own funeral from me twice? My Buy One Funeral, Get One FREE deal only applies the second time you purchase a custom Death Party.
Tag: humor
At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we value self-expression—even if that extends to gender. That’s why we sell T-shirts in Men’s, Women’s, and More Expensive. There may be 333 different genders, but we’ll only charge you more money for 331 of them.
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I should be a movie star. Have you seen me in action? If not, you’ve probably seen me inaction.
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I am The Helen Keller of Love. I can’t see or hear it coming, and I know whether love is blind or if it’s just deaf in the eyes, because I write romance poetry in Braille.
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With the giant octopus-shaped aquarium, Branson finally has its second iconic architectural building based on an animal. The first, of course, is The Great American Steak and Chicken House, which features a cock so large that even John Holmes would be impressed.
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I love Branson’s new aquarium. Has anybody else actually eaten at this sushi restaurant?
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BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm isn’t just good at customer service, we’re #1! It’s true, and I bought a trophy to prove it. Think about that next time you feel like complaining about us putting your phone call on hold for four hours.
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On a Sleepy to Coffee Scale, right now I’m Pure Insomnia. I’m talking about Alaska at midnight kind of awake.
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The main ingredient in a baseball card is cardboard. That makes its taste indistinguishable from Pizza Hut’s crust.
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Little children are geniuses at contorting their faces. Perhaps Jim Carrey could have been even more expressive if instead of practicing in a mirror, he’d just watched kids use body language to say what their limited vocabulary prohibits them from saying.
