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Love now, not later. Also, love later.

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Tag: hug

At BearPaw Duck Farm, our customer service representatives work 24/7 to make sure you are satisfied. If nobody answers your call within five rings, like The Olympics logo, call back in four years.

2020/11/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Some people put more thought into what kind of car to buy than what kind of mate to marry. I think that’s foolish, because I’m a bicycle salesman. Well, I actually only have one bicycle to sell, and I stole it, which is what makes it so profitable.

2020/03/102020/03/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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One hug is two people completing The Circle of Love.

2019/04/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m now offering FREE hugs! Only 99 cents per person per time!

2018/08/292018/08/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I am a Farmer of Romance, and I am trying to grow in love. Of all the things to grow, in love is the most profitable.

2018/07/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A vending machine that dispenses cats is a vending machine that distributes tenderness, and it if accepts hugs as payment, those circular displays of affection, then it fully completes The Circle of Love.

2018/07/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Sometimes I oscillate between two options. But that’s OK, because love is a vibration.

2018/04/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Follow me on Twitter

My Tweets

Recent Posts

  • The way water sits still in a glass and holds its shape, that’s how I dance. Luckily for you, I am now offering FREE refills.
  • Dance critics all over the world have called my body moves, “Sculpturesque,” “As full of motion as a Rodin statue,” and “Like watching Helen Keller eat Jell-O with her elbows.” My dancing is so still and silent that it belongs on a shelf in a library, next to other great literature.
  • No matter where you drive in this country, you end up in Clown World. That’s why I make my car go honk, honk.
  • Bill Gates is now the largest farmland owner in America. Why? Does the same “man” who wants to kill you also want to sell you healthy food?
  • Here at BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm, I’ve sold more T-shirts than I have eggs. That’s because I’ve sold ONE T-shirt. I know, because I bought it myself. I guess I am a pretty savvy businessman.
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