The way water sits still in a glass and holds its shape, that’s how I dance. Luckily for you, I am now offering FREE refills.
Tag: helen keller
Dance critics all over the world have called my body moves, “Sculpturesque,” “As full of motion as a Rodin statue,” and “Like watching Helen Keller eat Jell-O with her elbows.” My dancing is so still and silent that it belongs on a shelf in a library, next to other great literature.
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Did I say BearPaw Duck Farm was now offering FREE refills on coffee? I meant SwimmingBird Soup. Still, if you have a Helen Keller palate and an opaque thermos, it’s just as jolting.
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If you are wise in your own eyes, then you are Helen Keller. I’ll bet you also think you’re a good listener.
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Have you ever been in love with someone who just wasn’t there for you? My last girlfriend was invisible and inaudible, and the emotional torment made me feel like Helen Keller. I sell the whole experience, but hurry, parking is limited.
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Ducks now come with voice activation. Batteries and muffled fog-filled muffins sold separately. The ducks are waterproof, but the muffins do NOT double as dish sponges when soggy.
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I had a dream about you last night. What did you mean when you said, “Can I borrow your Tomato Machine? I left my seven in my head.” I thought you left eight! Now my calculations are WAY off!
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I may dance like two-thirds of the bottom half of a piano, but that doesn’t mean you can buy my Romantic Moves. However, they are FOR RENT at Truck Stop Diner Prices.
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The worst part about this Coronavirus Crisis is that since everything has been canceled, I can’t watch sports. It’s true that as a fan I was Helen Kelleresque, but I was just about to get serious about life, and finally start paying attention to what truly matters in this world.
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I tried telling her, but she wouldn’t listen. I tried showing her, but she refused to see. I asked her what she thought, and she refused to say. That was the last time I ever spoke to Helen Keller.
