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Love now, not later. Also, love later.

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I have a pet bicycle, and when I take it for a walk people look at me like I’m crazy. What, have you never seen an “I Voted!” T-shirt before?

2021/07/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A Pekin duckling has fur like rays of sunlight. It’s a yellow orb of a bird that’s bursting with warmth, and it transforms your fluttering heart into a butterfly.

2021/06/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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With The Bible, when you read you eat, and it’s the food that nourishes your spirit. It’s good for your body to fast, but it’s not healthy to starve your True Self of The Holy Ghost.

2021/05/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Life is made of time, people, and places. Why not spend your time with the best people in the best places?

2020/10/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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No matter what time it is, it’s always now. That makes it the perfect time to love. But what is the perfect place to love? That’s easy—BearPaw Duck Farm.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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It seems like the sun is always shining on The Ozarks, even at night. That’s because this place is hidden and full of love, like a beating heart.

2020/05/062020/05/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I should combine a car bumper with a belt, for a fashion accessory that’s safe for office romances. (Powdered love poetry and water sold separately.)

2020/02/282020/02/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If April in The Ozarks smells like 100% Pure Romance, it’s because we use the freshest organic love poetry. The earnest words of yearning are all locally grown right here in my heart.

2020/02/282020/02/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I cuddle cats, and I catch fish, but I never wrestle with catfish, because I take naps in blocks of time that are wooden and that double as coffee tables. FREE refills while supplies last.

2020/02/152020/02/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Lots of companies brag that they make their products with love, but with organic soap, I am really making it with love. What is a fragrance that triggers heart-fluttering nostalgia if not love?

2020/01/202020/01/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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  • This song will be playing at all the hottest clubs from South Beach to Ibiza, and it will come to define Summer 2022. Babies will be made to this song.
  • McDonald’s makes my grandma’s leftover meatloaf look fresh. She died in 1999.
  • If I wrote a dictionary, would you read it? What if I made it flow like a Nicholas Sparks romance novel?
  • If you are what you eat, then this morning I am nothing. But at least I’m awake, because I’m drinking coffee and I don’t watch mainstream news.
  • If a library has no books, it’s just an empty building, and people would know there had been a heist. But if you burn the library after you loot it, then it’s not a robbery, it’s a loss that won’t be looked for or pursued.
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