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Tag: haggle

I’m a born salesman. In fact, I was born earlier than the doctor expected, so before my mom and I left the hospital I was able successfully haggle down the price of the whole process, getting it discounted by the amount of time I saved by appearing before my scheduled arrival.

2019/08/302019/08/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Danny’s Coffee may be cold and old, but that doesn’t mean it’s not FOR SALE. Danny doesn’t know what he’s missing! Seriously, Danny has no idea I swiped his coffee, so all of it can be yours today! It’s just one haggle away!

2018/08/232018/08/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Is there some kind of coupon or discount one can get when buying a da Vinci painting? You’d think if you spend 450 million dollars, you’d at least get a $50 mail in rebate.

2017/12/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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  • Here’s an idea: You blame me and I’ll blame you. Then we can both join Howard Jones in singing, “No one is to blame.”
  • Everyone is getting crazier. And poorer. Which is making everyone even crazier.
  • I once wrote a 100,000-word book. But don’t worry, I managed to edit it down to just over one million words.
  • A hundred dollars used to have value. Now it has grown fat and worthless. Or has it grown so skinny as to be useless?
  • If I were the world’s richest man, I’d present myself as the world’s poorest, because I’d want people to want me for me. In fact, I’m so poor I want to be Guinness verified as The World’s Poorest—and I’m even willing to pay for the title (a bribe).
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