How do you wage war without firing a single gun? Start a trade war. How do you murder without getting your hands bloody? Start a trade war.
As the world grows more violent, I’m trying to harvest a more valuable crop: Peace. As a Farmer of Love, I have what people both want and need, and that makes it doubly profitable.
I actually don’t even own a gun. Why would I, when I have Karate Hands that are so effective that Oregon lumberjacks keep asking me to rent them to help chop down trees?
If you think you’re going to get shot while visiting a violent city, it’s best to travel with a doctor. I’m a big fan of human shields. That’s why I invented The Dr. Obambulator-Shaped Body Suit that’s made for two people to walk in tandem.
Sometimes I see heart shapes in clouds. Am I delusional, or am I in love? I would say I have to be the first to be the second, and I would also say most definitely yes.