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Love now, not later. Also, love later.

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Tag: gorgeous

If our ducks have to spend from sunset to sunrise cooped up, we want to make sure they are having the most fun, which means maximizing their exposure to critters that they can chase and eat.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Love now, not later. Also, love later. And in between, buy some duck eggs from me.

2020/05/062020/05/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The only food shortage we’ll have here at BearPaw Duck Farm is Dennis Hopper, the dwarf duck who hops around on a leg that’s so bum I mistook it for Nick Nolte in “Down and Out in Beverly Hills.”

2020/05/012020/05/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I now sell Waterfall Wedding Veils, because what’s more romantic than weddings and waterfalls? Only the LOW price of ONLY $19.95!

2020/03/172020/03/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Before you can be where you want to be, you need to be who you want to be. Except if you want to be me, because that’s impossible, unless you want to work my shift tomorrow morning while I sleep in, and then yes, you can totally be me.

2019/10/242019/10/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Sometimes I stand outside in the summer breeze and close my eyes, imagining it’s your warm breath rushing over my skin, and in these moments I am clothed in Love, which never goes out of style.

2019/09/022019/09/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Every morning I give thanks for not only being alive, but for having my life. Can you imagine how terrible life would be if I were you?

2019/08/262019/08/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The world needs more love, and I need more money, which is my my new #startup idea of a floating gondola rowed romantically on fog in The Ozarks is a win-win-win, with the first two wins going to me, and the third one going to you, for the incredibly LOW PRICE of just $19.95.

2018/10/242018/10/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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In a Lake of Clouds, there’s only one thing you can fish for: Dreams. Mostly I catch mine, but sometimes I catch yours, and I must say I am flattered to always see myself as the co-star in your subconscious fantasies.

2018/10/222018/10/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If your heart craves a mystical place, you’ll love The Ozarks. In fact, it’s so magical it doesn’t exist. Do not try to find it, and definitely do not come here. Just turn around, because this surreal realm is not real.

2018/09/022018/09/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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