With The Bible, when you read you eat, and it’s the food that nourishes your spirit. It’s good for your body to fast, but it’s not healthy to starve your True Self of The Holy Ghost.

2021/05/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

BearPaw Duck Farm is prepared for famine, and we actually sell Leather Soup. It’s flavored like shoes from 1933, and if you close your eyes while you slurp, you can taste my great grandpa walking around in them.

2020/12/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

My favorite kind of chips are the ones on people’s shoulders. I wish I could bag them up and sell them in vending machines.

2020/10/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I’m shocked to learn I’ve been saying the word joke wrong. My whole life I thought it was pronounced joke, like choke with a j, but it turns out it’s actually spoken as MAGA.

2020/06/122020/06/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The People are correct when they say The Government is the answer. Too bad they get the question wrong. The correct question that matches that answer is: Who should you listen to if you want to go to hell?

2020/04/112020/04/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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God gave man feet for which to walk. And crush grapes. Can I get you a glass of wine? It’s homemade, though it kind of smells funky and fungal. But hey, a fun gal made it.

2020/02/282020/02/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Every morning I give thanks for not only being alive, but for having my life. Can you imagine how terrible life would be if I were you?

2019/08/262019/08/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A broken clock is right twice a day—and that makes NOW the perfect time to buy one, because now when you Buy One Broken Clock, You Get FREE Fake Space! I buy Factory Direct from NASA, so you know my inventory is FRESH.

2019/03/072019/03/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

If you find yourself defending The Globalists, the same ones who want to exterminate you, then the odds of you being a TV Head are 100%. But hey, at least you’re safe from zombies, since they only eat brains.

2019/01/182019/01/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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What else would you expect from a place that calls itself the “Land of The Free,” but has the highest incarceration rate in the world?

2018/12/032018/12/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: God

With The Bible, when you read you eat, and it’s the food that nourishes your spirit. It’s good for your body to fast, but it’s not healthy to starve your True Self of The Holy Ghost.

Like this:

BearPaw Duck Farm is prepared for famine, and we actually sell Leather Soup. It’s flavored like shoes from 1933, and if you close your eyes while you slurp, you can taste my great grandpa walking around in them.

Like this:

My favorite kind of chips are the ones on people’s shoulders. I wish I could bag them up and sell them in vending machines.

Like this:

I’m shocked to learn I’ve been saying the word joke wrong. My whole life I thought it was pronounced joke, like choke with a j, but it turns out it’s actually spoken as MAGA.

Like this:

The People are correct when they say The Government is the answer. Too bad they get the question wrong. The correct question that matches that answer is: Who should you listen to if you want to go to hell?

Like this:

God gave man feet for which to walk. And crush grapes. Can I get you a glass of wine? It’s homemade, though it kind of smells funky and fungal. But hey, a fun gal made it.

Like this:

Every morning I give thanks for not only being alive, but for having my life. Can you imagine how terrible life would be if I were you?

Like this:

A broken clock is right twice a day—and that makes NOW the perfect time to buy one, because now when you Buy One Broken Clock, You Get FREE Fake Space! I buy Factory Direct from NASA, so you know my inventory is FRESH.

Like this:

If you find yourself defending The Globalists, the same ones who want to exterminate you, then the odds of you being a TV Head are 100%. But hey, at least you’re safe from zombies, since they only eat brains.

Like this:

What else would you expect from a place that calls itself the “Land of The Free,” but has the highest incarceration rate in the world?

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