My favorite kind of chips are the ones on people’s shoulders. I wish I could bag them up and sell them in vending machines.
Tag: God
I’m shocked to learn I’ve been saying the word joke wrong. My whole life I thought it was pronounced joke, like choke with a j, but it turns out it’s actually spoken as MAGA.
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The People are correct when they say The Government is the answer. Too bad they get the question wrong. The correct question that matches that answer is: Who should you listen to if you want to go to hell?
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God gave man feet for which to walk. And crush grapes. Can I get you a glass of wine? It’s homemade, though it kind of smells funky and fungal. But hey, a fun gal made it.
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Every morning I give thanks for not only being alive, but for having my life. Can you imagine how terrible life would be if I were you?
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A broken clock is right twice a day—and that makes NOW the perfect time to buy one, because now when you Buy One Broken Clock, You Get FREE Fake Space! I buy Factory Direct from NASA, so you know my inventory is FRESH.
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If you find yourself defending The Globalists, the same ones who want to exterminate you, then the odds of you being a TV Head are 100%. But hey, at least you’re safe from zombies, since they only eat brains.
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What else would you expect from a place that calls itself the “Land of The Free,” but has the highest incarceration rate in the world?
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In a physical war, every soldier knows when he is under attack, but this Spiritual War is much more devastating, destructive, and decimating, because few Christians even realize they are marked and targeted for abuse.
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Your life is a movie where you are the writer, director, and lead actor. It takes a lot of talent to make it to the closing credits of your life while keeping God on the edge of His seat wanting more the whole time.
