What better time to succeed than when you are failing and your life depends on you accomplishing your goal? That’s why the best time to call me for swimming lessons is when you are drowning, but don’t expect to make The Olympics or not die your first coaching session. No refunds.


One of my goals is to open a #coffee shop,


and it’s a good thing nobody in #HarrisonArkansas has any clue about #branding or #marketing like they do up in #Branson, because this would offer some serious competition. It’s good though, and I encourage it. #Harrison can keep napping, because the less branding and marketing the local businesses do, the more of the customers I’ll snatch away with #InfluencerMarketing, #Meme Marketing, and the production of #DankMemes. What these local comatose businesses don’t realize is that today, every business is a brand and media company, and a business’ Instagram feed should be entertaining, and not an endless scroll of trite shit FOR SALE. Because nobody gives a rat’s ass. They want to be informed and entertained, and not be told to buy random trinkets in their FREE time.