I’d like to repair your elevator using only a kayak and a smile. Ask me about Tuesday Specials every Monday.
Art as a service is great until you’re forced into the dilemma of: Do you keep The Masterpiece that I sculpted out of wrapping paper, or do you destroy The Masterpiece to discover the original gift inside? Masterpiece versus Mystery. Who will win?
If you act within the next fifteen minutes, I’ll also include a FREE toaster oven! Like the watch, it’s broken, and that’s what makes it such a great gift for your mother-in-law!
The best part about selling to politicians is they never buy anything, even when they buy everything. They purchase, but The People pay.
I am one man short of being a One-Man Cuddle Factory, but I guess that’s better than being one short man. But hey, at least there’s FREE meatloaf.
I tried mopping up the ocean using a wig on a stick, and though I completely wasted my energy and time, it was more productive than voting.
To love or to love, that is the question, because to not love is to not live, and the only thing that makes life livable is love. So give the radiant contents of your heart away, and when it feels empty, give some more.
Love is a gift, and right now mine is ON SALE. Get it while it’s still IN STOCK. You don’t want to miss out on this shiny THING that will surely impress all the people you hate.
Powdered Rose Substitute doesn’t have The Gift of Flight, but butterfly wings on a dolphin wouldn’t make good swimming fins, if you know what I mean. What I’m trying to say is HURRY UP AND BUY! The SALE ends when Bob Ross finishes the masterpiece he’s painting now in the past.