Call TODAY to inquire about TOMORROW. The Future is NOW, and it’s ONLY $19.95 per serving!
My new coffee is now 1980s flavored. It was inspired by Branson, Missouri’s love obsession with the year 1991, combined with the letter Q. You can’t say you get no respect, because you get FREE refills right up to 1990.
Drink up your delusion while you still can. FREE refills while supplies last.
Laws are written, and laws are re-written. I can’t believe I still got a speeding ticket after explaining to the cop that where I’m from, the year 2244, the Speed Limit is 88 miles per hour, which is exactly how fast I was going when I passed by his radar gun.
From honeysuckle to mint to pine, nothing smells fresher than sweet nostalgia. Well, nothing except for The Future, which is synonymous with April in The Ozarks.
Branson’s got more waterfalls per square mile than any other shape of measuring landmass. Next time, try circles! (Waterproof sticks sold separately.)
Today is the one that introduces Yesterday to Tomorrow. If it weren’t for Today, Nostalgia would never meet Hope.
Today a guy asked me who’s the US President, and I looked at him like he was crazy before replying, “Desmond is Amazing.” He just stared blankly so I quickly added, “Wait, what time is it? I just got back from the year 2050, so that’s why I have a shopping cart full of bananas.”
A shopping cart is like a heart, and mine only appears to be empty, but it is in fact full of love for you. And right now all that love is ON SALE.