Tag: funeral
Funerals are so expensive these days that if I should die, don’t buy me a coffin, just bury me in a Tupperware Container and leave me in the back of the fridge with the Leftover Meatloaf.
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I met a nice girl at my father’s funeral, and I’d like to say, Hello, grandma!
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Next time you have a funeral, you should hire a better DJ. Also, the cheese dip tasted a little funky, like a 1970s disco hit, and I like my queso smoother, like love songs from the 80s.
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The Waterfall is Closed For Business, because its father just died. I ask you to kindly let it grieve, and in the meantime, would you support the funeral costs by buying a pair of Used Hiking Boots? (They even come included with Leftover Meatloaf inside.)
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You are what you consume, and I guess that makes me an all-you-can-eat buffet. Come to my funeral for discounted prices on ALL remaining body parts.
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America’s biggest export is war, which means we switched from making widgets to manufacturing death, so it’s not surprising that McDonald’s tastes like a coffin.
