Tag: for sale
No matter what you want to buy, I’ve got it FOR SALE. It may be something completely different, but that’s balanced out by the fact that it’s more expensive. And broken.
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Futurists often ask me what’s the secret to sales, and I tell them: “Offer things people don’t want at prices they can’t afford,” and then I tell them I have to go, because I’m late for a meeting in 25 years that starts in five minutes, and they knowingly nod.
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McDonald’s is The Pope of the food industry, and by that I mean it takes Evil and disguises it as something tantalizing to be obtained, to the detriment of your body and soul.
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Besides being The Horse Whisperer, I do a lot of other kinds of whispering. In fact, I wholesale whispers, and in my warehouse I store all manner of secrets, and all are FOR SALE.
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Just because my absurdity comes in a box shaped like a coffin that’s not actually a coffin doesn’t mean I don’t also sell coffins. Right now my coffins are on sale at Buy One Get One Half Off prices. I also sell them in family packs.
