Tag: for sale
I’m a landholder. I have piles and piles of dirtbags. Thanks to Potter Equipment Company and KJ Pond Service, my Surreal Estate is FOR SALE.
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No bears were injured in the making of this GIF. Sadly, one little girl did start crying. But she stopped once I gave her a Frozen Duck Soup Popsicle, which is now FOR SALE and available in four fun flavors that all taste the same!
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If I have 25 ducks, and I give you two, how many ducks do I have? The answer is 25, because I’m not in the business of just giving ducks away. But if you are interested, they are all FOR SALE.
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The phone line is open, and I eagerly await your phone call so you can BUY what I’ve got FOR SALE. I just don’t know my phone number, so I’m afraid you’re going to have to try all the possibly combinations until I finally pick up. Leave a message if I don’t answer.
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I may dance like two-thirds of the bottom half of a piano, but that doesn’t mean you can buy my Romantic Moves. However, they are FOR RENT at Truck Stop Diner Prices.
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What reason could you possibly have for not buying this GIF? You might say, “Because it’s worthless.” And to that I’d reply, “So are fiat currencies, including The Dollar.” Sounds like an even trade to me.
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No matter what you want to buy, I’ve got it FOR SALE. It may be something completely different, but that’s balanced out by the fact that it’s more expensive. And broken.
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Futurists often ask me what’s the secret to sales, and I tell them: “Offer things people don’t want at prices they can’t afford,” and then I tell them I have to go, because I’m late for a meeting in 25 years that starts in five minutes, and they knowingly nod.
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McDonald’s is The Pope of the food industry, and by that I mean it takes Evil and disguises it as something tantalizing to be obtained, to the detriment of your body and soul.
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