Football is just a numbers game. I’m talking about gematria.
Tag: football
When you arrive at BearPaw Duck Farm, ask for Natalie. Natalie doesn’t work here, and nobody here knows anybody named Natalie, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for her. We have a cozy lobby where you can wait for her, with comfy wooden benches and cold coffee to drink.
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Bank tellers used to hand out suckers to the children waiting in line. Growing up I loved it, because where else could I get free VOTERS?
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You can’t call yourself a Christian and then VOTE in an anti-Christ system. Some of you spend so much time watching football that you now read at the same level as the average NFL player, but The Bible and salvation don’t care about your second-grade intellectual capacity.
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I love my cousin, and I’d never lie to him. Not only because I love him, but because he’s deaf, which means he reads body language like The Florida State University football team reads Dr. Seuss, and you can try to deceive with your words, but your body will always betray you.
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Why plan for a doomsday disaster when you could just drink beer and watch football? Funeral home directors everywhere thank you for your inaction.
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Someone showed me a clip of a Kansas City Chiefs game, and there was a camera shot of the crowd in the stadium, and with all that red and golden-arches yellow, I thought I was watching a mob of people audition to be the next Ronald McDonald. Bunch of clowns.
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If the world’s best women’s soccer team can’t even compete with a random soccer team composed of 15-year-old boys, do they even have any sports value? Or are they just a marketing gimmeck to push purple-haired transgenders into the mainstream?
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Orange you glad I came up with 33 different ways to use up the last of the Leftover Meatloaf that came included FREE when you bought my old fridge? My favorite is Number 3, because if you shower in the dark like I do, then old meatloaf feels exactly like a crusty sponge.
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Michelle Obama played D1 Men’s Football, and probably follows The NFL, so she has no excuse for not knowing The Tuck Rule. She should learn it before dancing in tight pants.
