Tag: foodie
I’m a man of faith, I believe. And it’s that very belief that gives me my faith. For me the two are one, like my sale on Frozen Duck Soup Popsicles: Buy Two For The Price Of One! (Offer not valid for residents of Alaska.)
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No bears were injured in the making of this GIF. Sadly, one little girl did start crying. But she stopped once I gave her a Frozen Duck Soup Popsicle, which is now FOR SALE and available in four fun flavors that all taste the same!
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Sure, Bill Gates is one of the publicized richest men in the world, and he can afford to purchase SwimmingBird Pie, but I think you’ll agree that sometimes FREE just tastes better. Look how happy he is that I shared my world-famous pie with him. He can’t believe I’m so generous.
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I saw a rooster on a leash, so I asked the guy walking it if he was offering Meals On A Leash. He denied being an industry disruptor, an innovator, so I snatched the approach to FRESH delivery food and transformed it into a new #startup.
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To do nothing is to do something. Sometimes that’s a wise strategy, like when playing hide-and-go-seek while trying to act invisible so nobody sees you. But doing nothing is the worst thing you can do when it comes to marketing.
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I cuddle cats, and I catch fish, but I never wrestle with catfish, because I take naps in blocks of time that are wooden and that double as coffee tables. FREE refills while supplies last.
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Cats make cuddly pets, but you can’t take them for walks. That’s why I love my pet waterfall, which also makes the splashiest snuggles. However, cats are the superior jazz musicians.
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This happened to me once. It might have happened twice, but after we ate our shoes we were all still hungry, so I was forced to devour my co-explorers, who would not stop complaining during dinner.
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The only thing good about the past is my World Famous Leftover Meatloaf. 1991 was a good year, and some say when my vintage Leftover Meatloaf is reheated just right it’s flavored like Branson Glory. It’s like a concert of taste, and it will leave your audience thirsty for more.
