I once made a large pot of Lightning Soup. It had two ingredients: Chlorinated water and swimmers in the pool during a thunderstorm.

2019/06/012019/06/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I just wrote a Romance Novel using only a toothpick and some soot from a chimney in an old Victorian mansion. The Woman fell in love with The Hero when she asked him what he liked on his pizza, and he replied, “Israel did 9/11.” As far as toppings go, nothing tops that.

2019/06/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I hate the endless wars of Clown World, but I must admit that I like fishing for swimming sunsets. Makes me wish I had Leftover Meatloaf for brains, so I could vote and cheer on my favorite political team (out of two possible choices).

2019/05/212019/05/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Funerals are so expensive these days that if I should die, don’t buy me a coffin, just bury me in a Tupperware Container and leave me in the back of the fridge with the Leftover Meatloaf.

2019/04/142019/04/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Using my Metallic Telepathic Helmet, I once tried to read your mind, but I stopped because I’m illiterate in Braille. Well, that and the chunky symbols were clogging up my antennae, and I had to rinse the whole apparatus in the sink.

2019/04/102019/04/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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As if applesauce and salsa soup wasn’t good enough, I went and added cabbage, pumpkin goop, and chopped liver, for texture. I’m thinking about freezing the whole batch and selling them as sharp popsicles that double as defense weapons, if someone should attack you for your food.

2019/04/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Is there such a thing as too much yum? I’m trying to find out, because I just invented leftover-meatloaf-flavored bubblegum! You know, for lovers.

2019/03/112019/03/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Is your favorite Chinese restaurant serving your favorite pet under the guise of chicken? Find out which restaurants in your area are secretly offering Toyota parts on their menu, tonight at 6:00.

2019/03/102019/03/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

With VCR prices this LOW, you could start your own buffet! Seniors eat FREE before five!

2019/03/062019/03/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My offer of FREE coffee cupcake refills applies to everyone except Wendell, who’s a java camel.

2019/03/062019/03/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: foodie

I once made a large pot of Lightning Soup. It had two ingredients: Chlorinated water and swimmers in the pool during a thunderstorm.

Like this:

I just wrote a Romance Novel using only a toothpick and some soot from a chimney in an old Victorian mansion. The Woman fell in love with The Hero when she asked him what he liked on his pizza, and he replied, “Israel did 9/11.” As far as toppings go, nothing tops that.

Like this:

I hate the endless wars of Clown World, but I must admit that I like fishing for swimming sunsets. Makes me wish I had Leftover Meatloaf for brains, so I could vote and cheer on my favorite political team (out of two possible choices).

Like this:

Funerals are so expensive these days that if I should die, don’t buy me a coffin, just bury me in a Tupperware Container and leave me in the back of the fridge with the Leftover Meatloaf.

Like this:

Using my Metallic Telepathic Helmet, I once tried to read your mind, but I stopped because I’m illiterate in Braille. Well, that and the chunky symbols were clogging up my antennae, and I had to rinse the whole apparatus in the sink.

Like this:

As if applesauce and salsa soup wasn’t good enough, I went and added cabbage, pumpkin goop, and chopped liver, for texture. I’m thinking about freezing the whole batch and selling them as sharp popsicles that double as defense weapons, if someone should attack you for your food.

Like this:

Is there such a thing as too much yum? I’m trying to find out, because I just invented leftover-meatloaf-flavored bubblegum! You know, for lovers.

Like this:

Is your favorite Chinese restaurant serving your favorite pet under the guise of chicken? Find out which restaurants in your area are secretly offering Toyota parts on their menu, tonight at 6:00.

Like this:

With VCR prices this LOW, you could start your own buffet! Seniors eat FREE before five!

Like this:

My offer of FREE coffee cupcake refills applies to everyone except Wendell, who’s a java camel.

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