Neiman Marcus will be out of business by next year, unlike me, who was never IN business to begin with, so I can make entrepreneurial missteps and then repackage them as Dancing Lessons.

2019/09/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I only call my new cologne Insecticide, and it only smells like bug killer, but it is in fact no more deadly than voting. (Try it on pancakes!)

2019/09/132019/09/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My soup is 100% Ranch FREE, which is why when you buy it I include FREE Ranch. (Ranch sold separately.)

2019/08/282019/08/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Some flavors can only be tasted with wise awakened eyes wide.

2019/08/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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In descending order, these are my favorite milkshake flavors: Mint chocolate chip, caramel, strawberry, and Israel did 9/11.

2019/07/272019/07/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Eat local. If not for your own health, do it for the children.

2019/07/212019/07/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I once made a large pot of Lightning Soup. It had two ingredients: Chlorinated water and swimmers in the pool during a thunderstorm.

2019/06/012019/06/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I just wrote a Romance Novel using only a toothpick and some soot from a chimney in an old Victorian mansion. The Woman fell in love with The Hero when she asked him what he liked on his pizza, and he replied, “Israel did 9/11.” As far as toppings go, nothing tops that.

2019/06/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I hate the endless wars of Clown World, but I must admit that I like fishing for swimming sunsets. Makes me wish I had Leftover Meatloaf for brains, so I could vote and cheer on my favorite political team (out of two possible choices).

2019/05/212019/05/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Funerals are so expensive these days that if I should die, don’t buy me a coffin, just bury me in a Tupperware Container and leave me in the back of the fridge with the Leftover Meatloaf.

2019/04/142019/04/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: foodie

Neiman Marcus will be out of business by next year, unlike me, who was never IN business to begin with, so I can make entrepreneurial missteps and then repackage them as Dancing Lessons.

Like this:

I only call my new cologne Insecticide, and it only smells like bug killer, but it is in fact no more deadly than voting. (Try it on pancakes!)

Like this:

My soup is 100% Ranch FREE, which is why when you buy it I include FREE Ranch. (Ranch sold separately.)

Like this:

Some flavors can only be tasted with wise awakened eyes wide.

Like this:

In descending order, these are my favorite milkshake flavors: Mint chocolate chip, caramel, strawberry, and Israel did 9/11.

Like this:

Eat local. If not for your own health, do it for the children.

Like this:

I once made a large pot of Lightning Soup. It had two ingredients: Chlorinated water and swimmers in the pool during a thunderstorm.

Like this:

I just wrote a Romance Novel using only a toothpick and some soot from a chimney in an old Victorian mansion. The Woman fell in love with The Hero when she asked him what he liked on his pizza, and he replied, “Israel did 9/11.” As far as toppings go, nothing tops that.

Like this:

I hate the endless wars of Clown World, but I must admit that I like fishing for swimming sunsets. Makes me wish I had Leftover Meatloaf for brains, so I could vote and cheer on my favorite political team (out of two possible choices).

Like this:

Funerals are so expensive these days that if I should die, don’t buy me a coffin, just bury me in a Tupperware Container and leave me in the back of the fridge with the Leftover Meatloaf.

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