When I was a child, I wanted to be a cowboy. But now that I am grown, I want to be a cowman.

2020/09/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I make my memes so spicy that I’ve got Popeyes calling me asking me for my recipe. I’ve got to make them hot, because I’m trying to sell mayonnaise.

2020/09/062020/09/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Nothing like a little controversy and conspiracy to drum up interest in a business. Speaking of drums, I’m starting a band, and Branson, Missouri—The Musician will be playing keytar.

2020/08/262020/08/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Branson offers competitive wages. Its most comparable competitor is a city in China—the place where they have all those slave-labor factories making cheap Walmart products.

2020/08/192020/08/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Rocky 4 is #1, and while Rocky is Rocky 1, it’s still #2. Rocky 2 is somewhere in the middle, like the year 1212. It’s time to take that time out of the freezer and reheat it in a volcano, like you’d do with any other leftovers.

2020/06/232020/06/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m a man of faith, I believe. And it’s that very belief that gives me my faith. For me the two are one, like my sale on Frozen Duck Soup Popsicles: Buy Two For The Price Of One! (Offer not valid for residents of Alaska.)

2020/05/232020/05/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Covering motion stairs with fur does not make a Pet Escalator. Ask me how to convert your retirement nest egg into one giant omelet.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Sure, Bill Gates is one of the publicized richest men in the world, and he can afford to purchase SwimmingBird Pie, but I think you’ll agree that sometimes FREE just tastes better. Look how happy he is that I shared my world-famous pie with him. He can’t believe I’m so generous.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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On wealth: The way The Federal Reserve is printing dollars, it won’t be too long before I’m a millionaire. I’ll be so rich I’m poor, because that one million dollars that used to take a lifetime of work to earn will only buy me a cheeseburger. But not a double cheeseburger.

2020/04/272020/04/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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At April in The Ozarks, we try to be relatable, like an orphan at a family reunion. You should try the meatloaf. It tastes like 1991.

2020/02/242020/02/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: food

When I was a child, I wanted to be a cowboy. But now that I am grown, I want to be a cowman.

Like this:

I make my memes so spicy that I’ve got Popeyes calling me asking me for my recipe. I’ve got to make them hot, because I’m trying to sell mayonnaise.

Like this:

Nothing like a little controversy and conspiracy to drum up interest in a business. Speaking of drums, I’m starting a band, and Branson, Missouri—The Musician will be playing keytar.

Like this:

Branson offers competitive wages. Its most comparable competitor is a city in China—the place where they have all those slave-labor factories making cheap Walmart products.

Like this:

Rocky 4 is #1, and while Rocky is Rocky 1, it’s still #2. Rocky 2 is somewhere in the middle, like the year 1212. It’s time to take that time out of the freezer and reheat it in a volcano, like you’d do with any other leftovers.

Like this:

I’m a man of faith, I believe. And it’s that very belief that gives me my faith. For me the two are one, like my sale on Frozen Duck Soup Popsicles: Buy Two For The Price Of One! (Offer not valid for residents of Alaska.)

Like this:

Covering motion stairs with fur does not make a Pet Escalator. Ask me how to convert your retirement nest egg into one giant omelet.

Like this:

Sure, Bill Gates is one of the publicized richest men in the world, and he can afford to purchase SwimmingBird Pie, but I think you’ll agree that sometimes FREE just tastes better. Look how happy he is that I shared my world-famous pie with him. He can’t believe I’m so generous.

Like this:

On wealth: The way The Federal Reserve is printing dollars, it won’t be too long before I’m a millionaire. I’ll be so rich I’m poor, because that one million dollars that used to take a lifetime of work to earn will only buy me a cheeseburger. But not a double cheeseburger.

Like this:

At April in The Ozarks, we try to be relatable, like an orphan at a family reunion. You should try the meatloaf. It tastes like 1991.

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