Tag: food
I’m a man of faith, I believe. And it’s that very belief that gives me my faith. For me the two are one, like my sale on Frozen Duck Soup Popsicles: Buy Two For The Price Of One! (Offer not valid for residents of Alaska.)
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Covering motion stairs with fur does not make a Pet Escalator. Ask me how to convert your retirement nest egg into one giant omelet.
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Sure, Bill Gates is one of the publicized richest men in the world, and he can afford to purchase SwimmingBird Pie, but I think you’ll agree that sometimes FREE just tastes better. Look how happy he is that I shared my world-famous pie with him. He can’t believe I’m so generous.
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On wealth: The way The Federal Reserve is printing dollars, it won’t be too long before I’m a millionaire. I’ll be so rich I’m poor, because that one million dollars that used to take a lifetime of work to earn will only buy me a cheeseburger. But not a double cheeseburger.
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At April in The Ozarks, we try to be relatable, like an orphan at a family reunion. You should try the meatloaf. It tastes like 1991.
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To do nothing is to do something. Sometimes that’s a wise strategy, like when playing hide-and-go-seek while trying to act invisible so nobody sees you. But doing nothing is the worst thing you can do when it comes to marketing.
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Cats make cuddly pets, but you can’t take them for walks. That’s why I love my pet waterfall, which also makes the splashiest snuggles. However, cats are the superior jazz musicians.
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If Subway’s chicken is only 50% chicken, so what? I’m 50% chicken, too. (The other half of me is pure coward.)
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Selling tickets is easy when what people are buying is EXCITEMENT. People leave their farms and travel to Branson for one reason only: To pay to gaze at tractors.
