As if applesauce and salsa soup wasn’t good enough, I went and added cabbage, pumpkin goop, and chopped liver, for texture. I’m thinking about freezing the whole batch and selling them as sharp popsicles that double as defense weapons, if someone should attack you for your food.

2019/04/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Have you ever considered using used shoes as soup bowls? If it sounds gross, wait until you smell it! But don’t wait too long, because by that time it will be cold and I may no longer have it ON SALE!

2019/03/222019/03/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Is there such a thing as too much yum? I’m trying to find out, because I just invented leftover-meatloaf-flavored bubblegum! You know, for lovers.

2019/03/112019/03/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Is your favorite Chinese restaurant serving your favorite pet under the guise of chicken? Find out which restaurants in your area are secretly offering Toyota parts on their menu, tonight at 6:00.

2019/03/102019/03/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

With VCR prices this LOW, you could start your own buffet! Seniors eat FREE before five!

2019/03/062019/03/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When I’m not making cakes, my hobbies include terrorizing trailer parks and being photographed by storm chasers.

2019/03/042019/03/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Steaks are NOW 19 for $19.95. Wow, that’s practically a steal! Actually, it truly is a steal. That’s what makes the food taste so great!

2019/02/272019/02/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Center Stage is a Yum Factory, manufacturing olfactory and gustation sensations, and that’s the kind of industry that is helping to Make this country great again.

2019/02/272019/02/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Don’t forget to try my cabbage soup. It’s fresh NOW. Well, assuming you’re reading this on March 5th, 2012, which is coming up on seven years ago. With my Teleportation Box, you can buy from me no matter where you are in the world and still loyally shop local.

2019/02/162019/02/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My heart is shaped like a strawberry, and when it’s full of your lemonade-flavored love it’s probably something that Branson tourists would pay $19.95 to sip on in the hot summer. I’m hoping you’ll supply me with FREE refills.

2019/02/132019/02/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: food

As if applesauce and salsa soup wasn’t good enough, I went and added cabbage, pumpkin goop, and chopped liver, for texture. I’m thinking about freezing the whole batch and selling them as sharp popsicles that double as defense weapons, if someone should attack you for your food.

Like this:

Have you ever considered using used shoes as soup bowls? If it sounds gross, wait until you smell it! But don’t wait too long, because by that time it will be cold and I may no longer have it ON SALE!

Like this:

Is there such a thing as too much yum? I’m trying to find out, because I just invented leftover-meatloaf-flavored bubblegum! You know, for lovers.

Like this:

Is your favorite Chinese restaurant serving your favorite pet under the guise of chicken? Find out which restaurants in your area are secretly offering Toyota parts on their menu, tonight at 6:00.

Like this:

With VCR prices this LOW, you could start your own buffet! Seniors eat FREE before five!

Like this:

When I’m not making cakes, my hobbies include terrorizing trailer parks and being photographed by storm chasers.

Like this:

Steaks are NOW 19 for $19.95. Wow, that’s practically a steal! Actually, it truly is a steal. That’s what makes the food taste so great!

Like this:

Center Stage is a Yum Factory, manufacturing olfactory and gustation sensations, and that’s the kind of industry that is helping to Make this country great again.

Like this:

Don’t forget to try my cabbage soup. It’s fresh NOW. Well, assuming you’re reading this on March 5th, 2012, which is coming up on seven years ago. With my Teleportation Box, you can buy from me no matter where you are in the world and still loyally shop local.

Like this:

My heart is shaped like a strawberry, and when it’s full of your lemonade-flavored love it’s probably something that Branson tourists would pay $19.95 to sip on in the hot summer. I’m hoping you’ll supply me with FREE refills.

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