During a famine, the farmer is wealthier than the money hoarder. Why? Because you can’t eat gold. Well, not unless you first convert it to Mfzt, monoatomic gold, but then how do you know the white powder you’re eating isn’t cocaine?
Tag: food
When I was a child, I wanted to be a cowboy. But now that I am grown, I want to be a cowman.
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I make my memes so spicy that I’ve got Popeyes calling me asking me for my recipe. I’ve got to make them hot, because I’m trying to sell mayonnaise.
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Nothing like a little controversy and conspiracy to drum up interest in a business. Speaking of drums, I’m starting a band, and Branson, Missouri—The Musician will be playing keytar.
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Branson offers competitive wages. Its most comparable competitor is a city in China—the place where they have all those slave-labor factories making cheap Walmart products.
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Rocky 4 is #1, and while Rocky is Rocky 1, it’s still #2. Rocky 2 is somewhere in the middle, like the year 1212. It’s time to take that time out of the freezer and reheat it in a volcano, like you’d do with any other leftovers.
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I’m a man of faith, I believe. And it’s that very belief that gives me my faith. For me the two are one, like my sale on Frozen Duck Soup Popsicles: Buy Two For The Price Of One! (Offer not valid for residents of Alaska.)
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Covering motion stairs with fur does not make a Pet Escalator. Ask me how to convert your retirement nest egg into one giant omelet.
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Sure, Bill Gates is one of the publicized richest men in the world, and he can afford to purchase SwimmingBird Pie, but I think you’ll agree that sometimes FREE just tastes better. Look how happy he is that I shared my world-famous pie with him. He can’t believe I’m so generous.
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On wealth: The way The Federal Reserve is printing dollars, it won’t be too long before I’m a millionaire. I’ll be so rich I’m poor, because that one million dollars that used to take a lifetime of work to earn will only buy me a cheeseburger. But not a double cheeseburger.
