Did I say BearPaw Duck Farm was now offering FREE refills on coffee? I meant SwimmingBird Soup. Still, if you have a Helen Keller palate and an opaque thermos, it’s just as jolting.

2020/12/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

If you’ve ever had my World Famous SwimmingBird Soup, you probably think it tastes like a kangaroo chase. You may wonder, “Is it organic?” The answer is YES! I use 100% REAL powdered kangaroo chase to flavor my soup.

2020/12/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

BearPaw Duck Farm is prepared for famine, and we actually sell Leather Soup. It’s flavored like shoes from 1933, and if you close your eyes while you slurp, you can taste my great grandpa walking around in them.

2020/12/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Lies come in all sorts of flavors, while The Truth is always vanilla. However, while you can get a lie in any flavor you’d like, it is always camouflaged poison.

2020/09/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Everything is better when flavored with Love. That’s why my prices are so high!

2020/08/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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No bears were injured in the making of this GIF. Sadly, one little girl did start crying. But she stopped once I gave her a Frozen Duck Soup Popsicle, which is now FOR SALE and available in four fun flavors that all taste the same!

2020/05/232020/05/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Duck eggs—the energy drink in a shell. Now available in an assortment of flavors that can be easily digitized and uploaded to The Cloud, to be later enjoyed through your eyes and ears.

2020/05/092020/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My new coffee is now 1980s flavored. It was inspired by Branson, Missouri’s love obsession with the year 1991, combined with the letter Q. You can’t say you get no respect, because you get FREE refills right up to 1990.

2020/05/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Of course, I’m open to seasoning my Duck Soup with other sounds, like Track # 3 from U2’s classic 1987 hit album “The Joshua Tree.” Though I might have to charge an additional $19.95 for such an exotic flavor.

Tag: flavor

Did I say BearPaw Duck Farm was now offering FREE refills on coffee? I meant SwimmingBird Soup. Still, if you have a Helen Keller palate and an opaque thermos, it’s just as jolting.

Like this:

If you’ve ever had my World Famous SwimmingBird Soup, you probably think it tastes like a kangaroo chase. You may wonder, “Is it organic?” The answer is YES! I use 100% REAL powdered kangaroo chase to flavor my soup.

Like this:

BearPaw Duck Farm is prepared for famine, and we actually sell Leather Soup. It’s flavored like shoes from 1933, and if you close your eyes while you slurp, you can taste my great grandpa walking around in them.

Like this:

Lies come in all sorts of flavors, while The Truth is always vanilla. However, while you can get a lie in any flavor you’d like, it is always camouflaged poison.

Like this:

Everything is better when flavored with Love. That’s why my prices are so high!

Like this:

No bears were injured in the making of this GIF. Sadly, one little girl did start crying. But she stopped once I gave her a Frozen Duck Soup Popsicle, which is now FOR SALE and available in four fun flavors that all taste the same!

Like this:

Duck eggs—the energy drink in a shell. Now available in an assortment of flavors that can be easily digitized and uploaded to The Cloud, to be later enjoyed through your eyes and ears.

Like this:

My new coffee is now 1980s flavored. It was inspired by Branson, Missouri’s love obsession with the year 1991, combined with the letter Q. You can’t say you get no respect, because you get FREE refills right up to 1990.

Like this:

Of course, I’m open to seasoning my Duck Soup with other sounds, like Track # 3 from U2’s classic 1987 hit album “The Joshua Tree.” Though I might have to charge an additional $19.95 for such an exotic flavor.

Like this:

Taste the interdimensional. Just add water—from the second heaven.

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