When I asked him about money, he melted like a piece of chocolate wrapped as a gold coin, and I never eat those things, for fear that they taste like Fake Money. Would you eat something that was flavored like fiat currency?

2019/11/082019/11/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-7

Fish-scented toothpaste that tastes like birds would be a SwimFly experience best sold in squeeze tubes. And if it had an afterflavor of Leftover Meatloaf, then it might have the essence of every Family Reunion I’ve never attended.

2019/10/022019/10/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Some flavors can only be tasted with wise awakened eyes wide.

2019/08/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-1

You don’t have to be a gumshoe, or have gum on your shoe, to appreciate my Israel did 9/11-flavored gum, but once you experience this INCREDIBLE taste, you’ll want to start investigating The Truth.

2019/07/302019/07/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I drink coffee like a thirsty desert camel, and if you’d like a piggyback ride across The Sahara, you’d better fuel me up with excess java.

2019/01/312019/01/31 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-47

My Waterfall Lollipops are 100% REAL fake, just like CNN is 100% FAKE real. The fish-piss taste in my Waterfall Lollipops lasts 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, with intermittent Brita-Water-Filter-Commercial-Break-Flavored freshness.

2018/10/052018/10/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy1

In between meals I eat snacks, and in between snacks I eat microsnacks, and this is how I plan on being around forever. Or at least a round.

2018/09/282018/09/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

The only thing better than cake is more cake. Also, the only thing better than Cake is more Cake. My advice is to try both at the same time, and then try some more.

2018/08/242018/08/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy28

I make Winter Soup. It’s frozen, and it comes on a stick, so you can lick it like a popsicle. It comes in two flavors: Yummy and Extra Yummy. (Warning: It may be dangerous to try tasting Soup Popsicles anally.)

2018/07/292018/07/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy44

The best wine in the world may come in a box, but Love isn’t packaged that way. No, Love comes in a plastic bucket for easy storage and locked-in freshness. Order yours today!

2018/06/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: flavor

When I asked him about money, he melted like a piece of chocolate wrapped as a gold coin, and I never eat those things, for fear that they taste like Fake Money. Would you eat something that was flavored like fiat currency?

Like this:

Fish-scented toothpaste that tastes like birds would be a SwimFly experience best sold in squeeze tubes. And if it had an afterflavor of Leftover Meatloaf, then it might have the essence of every Family Reunion I’ve never attended.

Like this:

Some flavors can only be tasted with wise awakened eyes wide.

Like this:

You don’t have to be a gumshoe, or have gum on your shoe, to appreciate my Israel did 9/11-flavored gum, but once you experience this INCREDIBLE taste, you’ll want to start investigating The Truth.

Like this:

I drink coffee like a thirsty desert camel, and if you’d like a piggyback ride across The Sahara, you’d better fuel me up with excess java.

Like this:

My Waterfall Lollipops are 100% REAL fake, just like CNN is 100% FAKE real. The fish-piss taste in my Waterfall Lollipops lasts 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, with intermittent Brita-Water-Filter-Commercial-Break-Flavored freshness.

Like this:

In between meals I eat snacks, and in between snacks I eat microsnacks, and this is how I plan on being around forever. Or at least a round.

Like this:

The only thing better than cake is more cake. Also, the only thing better than Cake is more Cake. My advice is to try both at the same time, and then try some more.

Like this:

I make Winter Soup. It’s frozen, and it comes on a stick, so you can lick it like a popsicle. It comes in two flavors: Yummy and Extra Yummy. (Warning: It may be dangerous to try tasting Soup Popsicles anally.)

Like this:

The best wine in the world may come in a box, but Love isn’t packaged that way. No, Love comes in a plastic bucket for easy storage and locked-in freshness. Order yours today!

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