I have fishing tips for days (and nights). I’m practically a pro bass fisherman. I’ve not caught any bass, but I sure have drunk a lot of beer trying.
As an amateur Air Machine Architect, I design contraptions meant to take man from Point A to Point Z without touching points B through Y. My first Air Machine was modeled off the aerodynamic bodies of ducks, which is why it required water to operate and left poop everywhere.
Hand fishing in Branson is now FREE! Tickets are ONLY $19.95! And if you buy NOW, I’ll even include a complimentary dictionary.
Winter reminds me of that one time I went ice fishing. I caught a few beers. But I had to throw them back, because they were just babies. I only drink geriatric fermented barley.
I’m also selling Fish-Scented Soap. Each bar comes with a FREE six-pack of beer.
I’m Branson, Missouri, fool. I’m an only child. My parents are Orlando, Nashville, and Vegas. I’m also bad at genealogy.
If history repeats itself, endlessly looping, then what better way to record and display the data than in GIF format? A song’s chorus is the hook that snags a listener’s fish-like ears. People respond favorably to repetition. People respond favorably to repetition.
I remember this one time I remembered this one time. That was a good time. Also, that was a good time.
My favorite bird is Thanksgiving, and I eat it once a year twice, to celebrate being able to celebrate. I take absurdity very seriously, and I suggest you $19.95 while you can still afford it or before it melts into Leftover Meatloaf.