I have fishing tips for days (and nights). I’m practically a pro bass fisherman. I’ve not caught any bass, but I sure have drunk a lot of beer trying.
As an amateur Air Machine Architect, I design contraptions meant to take man from Point A to Point Z without touching points B through Y. My first Air Machine was modeled off the aerodynamic bodies of ducks, which is why it required water to operate and left poop everywhere.
Hand fishing in Branson is now FREE! Tickets are ONLY $19.95! And if you buy NOW, I’ll even include a complimentary dictionary.
Winter reminds me of that one time I went ice fishing. I caught a few beers. But I had to throw them back, because they were just babies. I only drink geriatric fermented barley.
And just for Buying One and Getting One FREE, you’ll also get the opportunity to buy a SECOND one for FREE for FULL PRICE. Act NOW before this deal grows fins and flies away.
I’m also selling Fish-Scented Soap. Each bar comes with a FREE six-pack of beer.
I cuddle cats, and I catch fish, but I never wrestle with catfish, because I take naps in blocks of time that are wooden and that double as coffee tables. FREE refills while supplies last.
Artificial Intelligence is here, and it’s going to eat your lunch. But that’s OK, because it’s a buffet. Buy one shoe, get the second one FREE.
I’m Branson, Missouri, fool. I’m an only child. My parents are Orlando, Nashville, and Vegas. I’m also bad at genealogy.