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Tag: fish

Some men fish, some men talk about fishing, and some men talk about some men talking about fishing. My question to you is simple. What kind of fish are you?

2020/12/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I have fishing tips for days (and nights). I’m practically a pro bass fisherman. I’ve not caught any bass, but I sure have drunk a lot of beer trying.

2020/10/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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As an amateur Air Machine Architect, I design contraptions meant to take man from Point A to Point Z without touching points B through Y. My first Air Machine was modeled off the aerodynamic bodies of ducks, which is why it required water to operate and left poop everywhere.

2020/05/232020/05/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Hand fishing in Branson is now FREE! Tickets are ONLY $19.95! And if you buy NOW, I’ll even include a complimentary dictionary.

2020/03/152020/03/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Winter reminds me of that one time I went ice fishing. I caught a few beers. But I had to throw them back, because they were just babies. I only drink geriatric fermented barley.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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And just for Buying One and Getting One FREE, you’ll also get the opportunity to buy a SECOND one for FREE for FULL PRICE. Act NOW before this deal grows fins and flies away.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m also selling Fish-Scented Soap. Each bar comes with a FREE six-pack of beer.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I cuddle cats, and I catch fish, but I never wrestle with catfish, because I take naps in blocks of time that are wooden and that double as coffee tables. FREE refills while supplies last.

2020/02/152020/02/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Artificial Intelligence is here, and it’s going to eat your lunch. But that’s OK, because it’s a buffet. Buy one shoe, get the second one FREE.

2019/12/282019/12/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m Branson, Missouri, fool. I’m an only child. My parents are Orlando, Nashville, and Vegas. I’m also bad at genealogy.

2019/12/072019/12/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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  • The way water sits still in a glass and holds its shape, that’s how I dance. Luckily for you, I am now offering FREE refills.
  • Dance critics all over the world have called my body moves, “Sculpturesque,” “As full of motion as a Rodin statue,” and “Like watching Helen Keller eat Jell-O with her elbows.” My dancing is so still and silent that it belongs on a shelf in a library, next to other great literature.
  • No matter where you drive in this country, you end up in Clown World. That’s why I make my car go honk, honk.
  • Bill Gates is now the largest farmland owner in America. Why? Does the same “man” who wants to kill you also want to sell you healthy food?
  • Here at BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm, I’ve sold more T-shirts than I have eggs. That’s because I’ve sold ONE T-shirt. I know, because I bought it myself. I guess I am a pretty savvy businessman.
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