When a mass of people gather to watch two people fight, the best seat in the house is behind the counter that displays the candy and popcorn FOR SALE. Show your “I VOTED” sticker to receive a 50% discount on a half-sized bag.
Tag: fighting
At The Branson Craft Mall, the cover band was instrumental in getting me to hum along during dinner. The lead singer reminded me of myself—if I were a woman, attractive, and were actually musical.
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Self-storage is good, but self-actualization is better. How can you work on improving your personal life if your heart is cluttered? Why not store all that junk in my attic for ONLY $19.95 a month?
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Not only do I sell Cheeseburger Milkshakes, but I also sell oven mitts shaped like boxing gloves, so you can more stylishly fight forest fires. You just might wish you had a pair the next time a forest fire comes knocking on your door, after avoiding trees and shrubs and grass.
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Some people sleep with a gun under their pillow, and that is offensive. In an effort to ban all Objects Of Violence, I propose banning pillows, because they are the root cause of millions of fights, and without them, we’d have a more peaceful society. I hope you groggily agree.
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Thanks to global warming, forest fires are more conscientious and considerate than ever, and they’re even so polite that they’ll burn down just the houses, but leave the lawns and trees and even whole forests in tact and untouched. Now that’s caring.
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I just made a tourism video for Israel, so they can continue luring and fleecing Evangelical Christian Americans, who have such a profound faith in God that they’ve never read His Word, for if they had they’d have read about The Synagogue of Satan.
