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Tag: fighter

Combat is dangerous, and no matter if it’s Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Muay Thai, or grappling, no Octagon Warrior wants to get put to sleep by a Pillow Fighter. That’s why Dana White won’t sign me to a contract.

2021/01/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When a mass of people gather to watch two people fight, the best seat in the house is behind the counter that displays the candy and popcorn FOR SALE. Show your “I VOTED” sticker to receive a 50% discount on a half-sized bag.

2020/11/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I used to want to be a fire fighter, so I custom made my equipment. I mixed oven mitts with boxing gloves, because how else are you supposed to fight a fire? I got choked out in my first match, because my wrestling was weak in comparison to the flames.

2020/01/012020/01/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Not only do I sell Cheeseburger Milkshakes, but I also sell oven mitts shaped like boxing gloves, so you can more stylishly fight forest fires. You just might wish you had a pair the next time a forest fire comes knocking on your door, after avoiding trees and shrubs and grass.

2019/02/172019/02/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A rocking chair puts me in a quandary, because it moves without ever going anywhere. In that way, it’s like True Love, because it moves you, but never leaves you or lets you leave.

2018/03/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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