Tag: fight
I used to want to be a fire fighter, so I custom made my equipment. I mixed oven mitts with boxing gloves, because how else are you supposed to fight a fire? I got choked out in my first match, because my wrestling was weak in comparison to the flames.
Share this:
Share this:
Self-storage is good, but self-actualization is better. How can you work on improving your personal life if your heart is cluttered? Why not store all that junk in my attic for ONLY $19.95 a month?
Share this:
Share this:
I was once walking in a field of sunflowers in Kansas, when suddenly one of them roared at me like a lion, and it wasn’t until the next moment that I realized that I run like an antelope when I’m feeling particularly brave.
Share this:
Share this:
Not only do I sell Cheeseburger Milkshakes, but I also sell oven mitts shaped like boxing gloves, so you can more stylishly fight forest fires. You just might wish you had a pair the next time a forest fire comes knocking on your door, after avoiding trees and shrubs and grass.
Share this:
Share this:
I regret to inform you that I have just SOLD OUT of grandmothers, but in stock I do have Talking Raisins In A Box. They’re not quite as grumpy, but they are just as wrinkly.
Share this:
Share this:
It’s too late to start fighting after you’ve been knocked out and enslaved. How long will you let The Globalists keep punching you before you start swinging back?
Share this:
Share this:
Some people sleep with a gun under their pillow, and that is offensive. In an effort to ban all Objects Of Violence, I propose banning pillows, because they are the root cause of millions of fights, and without them, we’d have a more peaceful society. I hope you groggily agree.
Share this:
Share this:
I just made a tourism video for Israel, so they can continue luring and fleecing Evangelical Christian Americans, who have such a profound faith in God that they’ve never read His Word, for if they had they’d have read about The Synagogue of Satan.
Share this:
Share this:
A rocking chair puts me in a quandary, because it moves without ever going anywhere. In that way, it’s like True Love, because it moves you, but never leaves you or lets you leave.
